The Emperor's New Crib

2011-05-25T11:09:00.003+02:00

Yesterday, I took Prøve i Dansk 3, a 5-hour government-sponsored exam designed to test my written and spoken knowledge of Danish. The test resembles The Advanced Placement tests given to high school students in the US with essays, reading comprehension and an oral component (which I will take in a few weeks). In the final part of the test there was an essay which asked students to explain whether society has a responsibility to protect its people by creating laws and rules. It cited examples like whether people should be forced to wear their seat belts or there should be a limit on how old adoptive parents can be.

Since this was a test of grammar rather than civic awareness, I answered the question in the most straight-forward way possible, but as I left the testing site I couldn't get the question out of my head. Denmark has had its fair share of rules and regulations instated over the past year designed to limit immigration and, in the eyes of some politicians, keep undesirable immigrants out and make the country a more safer place. The result has made it difficult for non-EU citizens to legally stay in Denmark and has caused many people to either voluntarily move or be deported. Luckily, my immigration status is safe because of a loop-hole in the law which allows non-EU citizens who moved from another EU country (Sweden, in my case) to be treated like Europeans for immigration matters. Still, I can't help but think of these immigration rules when considering my essay topic.

So here is my real answer to the question, which I will direct to Denmark's Integration Minister, Søren Pind.

Dear Mr. Pind,

In your department's recent Prøve i Dansk 3 exam you asked "New Danes" to explain what society's reponsibility should be in creating rules and laws to protect its people. Should people be responsible for their own safety? Is there a point where society creates too many rules? Judging by your ministry's recent activity, which has created laws which come closer and closer to effectively halting immigration to Denmark all together, I can assume your answer to the questions would be "Yes" and "No," respectively. But as a person for whom these rules determine my livelihood in this country and the cohesion of my family, I can't help but disagree..

A 26-year-old Australian man with two Danish children will be deported in August after Denmark's immigration department told him that his "attachment" to Denmark was not as strong as his attachment to Australia. Furthermore, his 23-year-old Danish fiancee does not have the right to marry him in Denmark, because she is too young to marry a foreigner under Danish law. The man has taken and passed all Danish exams and has worked in Denmark for several years (and paid astronomically high Danish taxes). But despite having a Danish fiancee (who he wants to be his wife) and two children who are Danish citizens, he is more "attached" to Australia in the eyes of the Danish government and thus can not stay in Denmark.

And why must he separate his family, force his child to move, and force his wife to leave her job? Because Danish society wants to protect its people. Because statistics supposedly show that immigrants are the majority of the people committing the crimes, crowding the jails, and taking the handouts, and the Danish government thinks the best way to stop this is to throw up walls, man the borders, and keep away as many outsiders as possible.. History has shown that this is not the best strategy, but Danish politicians think it is their responsibility to impose laws which tell citizens who they can and can't marry, when they can marry, where they can live, and how they can live.

So in response to the original question asked by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, I don't think it is society's responsibility to tell a Danish citizen that, at 23-years-old, she is too young to marry the love of her life, a man with whom she already has a child. Nor do I think it is society's responsibility to determine which country she or her children are "most attached" too. It is not society's responsibility to tell its citizens that they can't marry a foreigner without an education (especially when the Danish politician pushing for the law doesn't have a higher educations herself) or a job and it is definitely not society's responsibility to break up families and take small children away from the only culture they know.

Society instead has a responsibility to teach its people how to coexist with one another and thus have enough self-awareness to cope with the evils of the world. This includes giving people the tools to understand other cultures and religious beliefs and choose for themselves which lifestyle fits their own and which person is best to share it with. Borders, laws, and restrictions may serve to temporarily keep the undesirables away, but they will not serve to make the Danish population ready to coexist within a global society that is inevitably part of everyone's lives - whether they like it or not.

Sincerely,

Me

An ode to Spring

2011-04-22T17:58:00.001+02:00

A slideshow by Smilebox

This is Chicken? | Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution

2011-02-25T09:30:00.000+01:00

Banning the junk

2011-02-25T08:54:00.003+01:00

My kid is obsessed with ketchup, and I might go so far to say it's an addiction.

Yes, Estelle has found her new favorite food: tomato paste, vinegar, and sugar in a plastic bottle. She dips potatoes, eggs, vegetables, crackers and bread in it. When the food's all gone she eats ketchup with a spoon and if a spoon isn't handy she just licks it off the plate. When she walks into the kitchen and decides she's hungry, she opens the fridge and grabs the ketchup bottle and brings it to me. She would live on three square meals of ketchup if I let her.

I can't really complain about Estelle's eating habits. I follow the philosophy that if a kid is hungry she will eat and if she isn't hungry she won't. Therefore I don't cook special food for Estelle. She just eats what we do (with a dallop of ketchup on the side, where appropriate). Sometimes she doesn't eat (or just eats the ketchup) and goes to bed perfectly happy while other days she eats three bowls of lentil curry and asks for more (with ketchup). She hasn't consistently picked out a food she doesn't like, just some she doesn't feel like that day. She eats salmon, cod roe, liver paste, rye bread, spicy thai curry - whatever we throw in front of her.

I've been greatly inspired by chef Jamie Oliver's "School Dinners" TV documentary, which was filmed in England six years ago and is being shown on Danish TV this month. In it, Oliver attempts to transform school lunch programs from serving processed re-heated chicken nuggets, burgers, and french fries to cooking real, wholesome food. Oliver's philosophy is that there are no picky eaters, just those who have haven't been given the opportunity to try new things. Over the course of a year Oliver got kids from the unhealthiest town in England to go from not even being able to identify a potato or carrot to eating all the nutritious meals that were put in front of them at school. In the end, all children were eating Oliver's meals at school and he worked with Tony Blair and other political leaders to transform England's school lunch program. (A similar program, Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, was filmed in the US and was less successful when he couldn't even find schools willing to participate.)

The county where we live in Denmark doesn't have this problem. We have a strict "sugar policy" which states that any place receiving government funds (schools, daycares, swim halls, sports clubs, etc.) can't serve crap food. They can't have sugary drinks, candy, soda, chips, etc. At Estelle's daycare we aren't even allowed to bring in birthday cake - just raisons, rolls, fruit sticks, cheese, or popcorn. The swim hall serves whole wheat turkey wraps and fresh fruit smoothies and (GASP!) kids drink white milk instead of chocolate. Of course kids do have candy and junk at home and on special occasions, but the temptations to buy them in public institutions are gone. Furthermore, Denmark is the only country in the world to ban partially hydrogenated oils:

Denmark became the first country to introduce laws strictly regulating the sale of many foods containing trans fats in March 2003, a move which effectively bans partially hydrogenated oils. The limit is 2% of fats and oils destined for human consumption. It should be noted that this restriction is on the ingredients rather than the final products. This regulatory approach has made Denmark the only country in which it is possible to eat "far less" than 1 g of industrially produced trans fats on a daily basis, even with a diet including prepared foods.^[76] It is hypothesized that the Danish government's efforts to decrease trans fat intake from 6g to 1g per day over 20 years is related to a 50% decrease in deaths from ischemic heart disease. (Wikipedia)

I've been told I'm lucky to have a kid who will eat anything, but if Jamie Oliver's model is true then it isn't luck, it's just the absence of any other option for Estelle to eat. I will say when we brought her to Applebee's for the first time around Christmas she practically inhaled a kid's cheeseburger and fries - faster than I've seen her eat anything else. And on the special occasions where she has had sweets, the plate is usually licked clean. So the natural instinct to eat sweet and salty foods is definitely in her.

But for as long as I can I think I'll follow Oliver's advice and "ban the junk," keep the processed foods on the shelf in the store, and not give my kid any option but the healthy one. . . with a little ketchup on the side.

"Let them eat Cake"

2010-11-17T11:03:00.004+01:00

One of the advantages of having a highly-educated population like Denmark does is that people are extremely clever. I see this cleverness in Danish humor, design, and infrastructure every day.

I think the Danish education system lends itself to creating clever kids. I am currently studying education and learning as an exchange student at Roskilde University, and much of it involves learning about how Danish schools function. They're based on a democratic system where kids have a lot of choice and freedom in how their education is structured. The teacher is not supposed to be the all-knowing authority, but a participant and leader in the democratic process of the class. It's a system I like and one that I can already see in my daughter's daycare (which all three of us continue to be impressed by). The demphasis on rote learning and memorization in early childhood fosters creativity and out-of-the-box thinking.

Which brings me to this antedote. Last week the mainstream press discovered that leaders of The Danish People's Party, a minority party who are mainly responsible for the new tightened immigration policies I wrote so strongly against last week (and whose leaders apparently didn't get the memo in school about this open-minded democracy stuff) published an article in their party newsletter complaining that all the Muslim immigrants in Denmark were bringing in their big families and eating all the free cake and drinking all the juice in hospital waiting rooms - forcing hospitals and doctors offices to give up on having free goodies.

The idea was seen as completely absurd and ridiculous by many Danish people. But did they just whine and complain? No, they took action in a creative way. If the leaders of the Danish People's Party were starving then the Danish people would take care of them. That's the Danish way, after all. They, like Marie Antoinette suggested so long ago, said to "let them eat cake."

And so they sent them cake . . . and more cake . . . and more cake. Packages of cake have been arriving at the headquarters of the Danish People's Party all week. They are drowning in cake to the point where a spokesperson for the party said that they have to explore options of what to do with all the cake before it goes bad. The hospitals won't take it because of possible contamination. A Facebook campaign has hundreds of photos of letters of protest attached to cake ready to be mailed. Sarcastic apologies for the extra slice people slipped in the last time they visited their dying uncle in the hospital, letters from children asking for forgiveness and explaining they used the last of their allowance to buy new cake . . . cake! cake! cake!

In my mind the Great Cake Quake is a fine example of Danish sarcasm and a way to make a personal statement of opposition to party leaders without hurting or offending. As a former journalist, it also lends itself to so many excellent headlines... too many to write here!

It's hard out there for an Udlænding

2010-11-12T22:38:00.005+01:00

Rarely do I post negative things about Denmark and even more rarely do I post about Danish politics, but with new immigration laws that will affect myself, my friends, and future expatriates, this has become personal.

Denmark is a country that has been revered around the world for a social welfare system that can be unmatched. Documentary makers, news shows, and even Oprah have come to this country to tout its free healthcare, generous maternity leave benefits, and an excellent unemployment system. Danish people pride themselves in thinking of everyone as an equal regardless of how much money they have or what they do for a living. It is a society and system that I strongly believe in and one that has impressed me in the 16 months I have lived here. It is, as some Americans would call it "a socialist paradise."

Unfortunately, the Danish happiness and security so widely publicized has one catch: you can only have access to it if you are a purebred Dane. Foreigners coming into this country, even those married to Danes like myself, are not entitled to unemployment money or student allowance. They can't exchange drivers' licenses and, at least in the eyes of the current government, foreigners are not equals to Danes.

Last week, Denmark's most conservative minority party, Danske Folkeparti, pushed the government to create laws governing Family Reunification Visas, or those that apply to foreign spouses and children of Danish citizens. The laws now state that in order to be allowed to stay in Denmark on these visas one must take a 70-question oral and written exam in Danish about Danish culture, history, and values. Thirty-minutes are allowed for this test and 40 questions must be answered correctly. Moreover, immigrants must have work experience and be educated. In other words, if you are poor or have had a hard life they don't want you here.

In effect, these laws will serve to keep out not only the lazy folks looking to mooch off the system but all other foreigners as well. Danish is a difficult language to learn even for people who already live in the country, to have to learn it on your own in your home country is nearly impossible. The test will serve as a roadblock for many who are even thinking of coming to Denmark and will effectively push away the little diversity this country has.

I have put my faith and my heart into the Danish system since I moved here. I have made every effort to learn the language, abide by the cultural norms, get an education, and find employment. I have touted Danish values to my relatives when I returned to the States for vacation. I believed in Denmark, but Denmark never believed in me.

I find it difficult to see how I will be able to raise my daughter in a country whose government believes that foreigners, like her own mother, are a nuisance to society. I do not know how I can teach her about the values of diversity and the importance of multiculturalism in a country that uses tricks to bypass EU rules and keep anyone who isn't 100% Danish out. Denmark has hurt and betrayed me.

I still love Denmark. I love the laid-back attitudes of the Danish people, the collectiveness of society, and the commitment to environmental policies that will make the world a better place. But it is increasingly difficult to live under a government that ostracizes me and people like me. I have tried so hard to become one of the people, but the government's sneaky ways of edging foreigners like me out could one day put me over the edge.

Estelle at 1 year: Learning 2 languages, 1 word at a time

2010-11-09T20:09:00.001+01:00

Caring Days

2010-08-18T10:41:00.006+02:00

I have no idea what I did with my days before I had a baby.

Estelle started daycare this week and Kjartan and I are still on parental leave until the end of the month. We have left her with a babysitter several times before, but this week marks the first time that we're home and Estelle isn't. The result has been a ridiculous amount of progress. We've washed the floors, vacuumed, baked muffins, made dinner for friends, got to the bottom of the laundry basket, cleaned the whole house, gone grocery shopping, and taken a nap - and this was only in the first 4 hours she was gone! It is amazing what one can accomplish when you don't have pint-sized tsunami wreaking havoc on your home every minute.

Meanwhile, Estelle is enrolled in a public daycare about a 10-minute walk from our house. From what I have heard, the Danish daycare system is very different from the American system. To start with, it is almost entirely public. When Estelle was born we chose three area daycares that we liked and submitted a form to county administrators asking to enroll her in August. The county then looked at the capacity of the daycares we chose and was able to give us our second choice. Luckily we live in a county with plenty of room for children Estelle's age. Other places in Denmark, like central Copenhagen, have more trouble accommodating new babies.

Unlike in America, where many children begin daycare as early as 4-weeks-old, in Denmark children can not start until they are 6-months old and most do not start until 10 months or older. This is easier than in America because of Denmark's generous parental leave benefits. Estelle is starting 2 weeks shy of 10 months, since Kjartan's paternal leave has been used up and I begin full-time university September 1. The cost is also considerably less than in America. We only pay about $20 a day for full-time care - and this includes food and diapers.

And so on Monday Estelle had her first day of daycare. Her center has 100 children. Ages 0-2.5 are in a "vuggestue," or literally "cradle room" and ages 2.5-6 are in "Børnhave," which is similar to preschool. The two buildings are joined by a hallway and share a very large playground. Estelle's room is where the youngest children are, ranging in age from 9 months to 1.5 years. There are 9 children, 1 pedagogue, and 2 helpers.

One of the biggest differences between American daycares and Danish daycares is the time children spend outside. Danish society embraces the outdoors, especially with small children. Even at crawling age Estelle is outside in the sandbox or crawling in the dirt for several hours each day. Children are expected to play outside daily in rain or shine, cold, warm, snow - it doesn't matter. And given that this is Denmark there is usually more rain than shine. Estelle also sleeps outside in a large buggy every day no matter the weather. It sounds crazy at first, but being outside means that the babies can sleep when they want to and aren't disturbed by other children in the room who aren't sleeping.

Because of all this earthy-crunchy nature stuff, I have to pack Estelle a lot of clothes. Even babies have rubber rain suits, sleep snowsuits, rain boots, snow boots, and water-proof snow suits for outside. I also expect that she will need to be hosed down as soon as she gets home, given her habit of smearing dirt and sand in her ears, nose, and mouth.

The attitude toward food is also different in Danish daycares. Parents don't have to make a lunch pack and food is provided by the institution. It's almost entirely organic and cooked by a full-time chef. Cakes, junk food, and desserts are only allowed on 3 holidays a year and milk and water are the only drinks served. Meals include fish soup, liver paste, goulash, and curry. Children are expected to each what is served, and if they don't like it their only other option is cheese on dark rye bread. Children are given breakfast, lunch, and two snacks throughout the day. Luckily, Estelle will eat anything (including handfuls of sand from the playground and the food on the plate of the kid next to her), so she comes home full.

There is a large emphasis on making children feel like they are part of a community in Danish daycares. Every morning starts with a meeting, where older children can talk about their concerns and adults can discuss the plan for the day. Later everyone sings songs together. Meals are also communal. Each room has a round table that both children and staff sit around for meal times. Food is served from common dishes and children have to wait for everyone to be done eating before they can leave to play. Older children wash their own dishes and even babies know to wash their own hands.

What Danish daycares don't have is an emphasis on formal learning. Most Danish children learn things like numbers, letters, and reading much later than American children because "lessons" are not directly taught by pedagogues. Instead, the emphasis is on play, creativity, imagination and socialization.

Vuggestue is definitely a world away from the preschools and care that I had as a child, but the differences don't bother me. Estelle has been so happy at daycare that she applauded when I left today. The other children there also seem to be happy to be there. In the end this is really all that matters at her age.

But despite Estelle's happiness at vuggestue and our progress at home, we still literally run out the door as soon as the daycare calls to tell us Estelle is done with her afternoon nap.

Home life is too calm without our little tsunami crawling around.

A supersized summer of fun!

2010-08-17T20:20:00.003+02:00

Well, the Supersized Summer o' Fun is over and what an exciting summer it has been.

Here's a 10-minute recap:

Personalize a free photo slideshow

Next Post: Daycare in Denmark: Estelle's new favorite thing!

It ain't easy being green

2010-08-09T19:46:00.005+02:00

There's a reason why the superheroes aren't Danish.

It is often said that Americans live to work while Danes work to live. Many Americans work 60-hour weeks and have only 2 weeks of vacation and 5 sick days a year. Danes, on the other hand, have 5 weeks a year plus holidays, take unlimited sick days, work 37-hour work weeks and STILL strike and complain that they're tired and work too much.

So what superhero strength do Americans have over Danes? How can they handle such long hours and stress? Why can't Danes keep up with the same workload?

The Answer, my friends is simple: Vegetables.

You see while American parents fight, beg, and plead with their children to eat their veggies, Danish parents don't have to worry about it. Danes simply don't eat vegetables.

They will tell you I'm wrong. They'll tell you they eat plenty of vegetables. They eat peas, potatoes, iceberg lettuce, cabbage, and mushrooms! Sometimes, on a special occasion, they will even eat CARROTS!

But what Danes simply don't seem to understand is that these aren't vegetables. Ok, maybe they come from a plant and can be classified as a "vegetable," but they aren't where Popeye got his strength from. YOU NEED RUFFAGE, PEOPLE!!! I'm talking spinach, broccoli, Kale, sprouts... The food of the superheroes!

The excuse Danes will give is that they live way up North where such stuff doesn't grow and so the Danish civilization has been pruned over generations to only eat pigs, pork, potatoes, and all things pickled (they apparently have a preference for things with the letter "P" too). This fact doesn't, however, stop Scandinavians from being the largest bananas consumers in the entire world. I have YET to see a banana tree hidden under the early September frost in Copenhagen.

So I can only assume that Danes don't eat their vegetables because they don't want the superhero powers. I mean, there are probably other reasons why all the superheroes are American. A Danish superhero would have to go through all the trouble of asking his union rep if it was OK to save the lady from the giant tarantula past 5pm on a Friday and he would constantly be calling in sick EVERY TIME the Black Death Monster came to town because boo hoo he is a afraid he might catch the plague and he has unlimited sick days anyways. And he would be so lethargic from all his bacon and beer that he would be too hungover to get out the door to save the old lady from the Big Purple Blob early Sunday morning. The Danish lifestyle and the superhero requirements just don't mesh.

So they just leave the fighting to someone else. It has long been told that Danes live a simpler life - a throwback to the old days where the working bell rings and everyone comes home at 5 and have dinner with their families. And if they can have that, Danes prefer to reserve superhuman powers to the Americans.

. . . And reserve the bacon for themselves.

Carry on my Wayward Sun...

2010-05-21T15:23:00.000+02:00

Create a slideshow design

The Naked Truth

2010-05-06T19:36:00.004+02:00

"Watch out - Danish people love to be naked. No, not just naked. Really, really, really, naked."

That's what a friend's sister told me when she returned from Denmark after a 2-year stay. At the time I wasn't quite sure what it meant. I mean, you can only BE so naked, right?

"No, they're not just naked. They're naked to the EXTREME."

That's what another American told me before I took my first trip to a Danish indoor pool. But seriously, it didn't make any sense. I mean, how naked can one person really be?

"Danes love themselves, especially when they're naked."

That's what someone's blog said about her first encounter with a Danish beach.

Oh come on, don't be so childish, I thought. It's just a little skin. Everybody's got the same parts, right?

"You should be naked now."

That's what my doctor said to me the first time I visited her as she sat there staring at me, waiting for me to get undressed.

-----------

It's one of the biggest cultural differences I have experienced in Denmark and one of the things I have been embarrased to talk about, but now I feel I must bare it (ha!) and disrobe (ha!) what is in my opinion Denmark's greatest ASSet (ha!). So, without further ado, I unveil (ha!) the secret: It's OK to be naked here.

Well, in most public places Danish people keep their clothes on. I mean, people are out taking a naked midnight stroll down the street and sitting down to a nice naked cup of coffee at a cafe. But enter somewhere where you have to take your clothes off to get into something else (i.e. doctor's office, gym, pool hall, beach, etc.) and it's a whole different story. Once you're in these places all civil clothes is stripped off and it's like Eve never ate that apple.

Take the public pool women's locker room: There's no modest towel-wearing or changing cubicles. There's no people facing the corner so as not to see anything or pre-teen girls BEGGING their parents to let them change in the bathroom stall. Nope, there's just naked people EVERYWHERE! There's a sign on the wall that says you HAVE to be naked when you're in the big public shower (for sanitary reasons, they say) and there's a MAP of the body and which parts should be washed. When I went swimming there was an entire preschool class of kids getting dressed with their female teachers (who were also naked). Everyone is naked. There's naked old people, naked young people, naked babies, naked kids - They're standing around going about life as usual - while naked.

And at the doctor's office: There's no little paper gown you wear and the doctor doesn't leave the room before you undress. Nope, you just take your clothes off and he/she examines you and then has a conversation with you about what's bothering you - while you're naked.

And then there's the beach: Tops are optional and you don't have to change in a locker room. Girls aren't expected to wear a bathing suit top until they hit puberty and women aren't expected to wear a bathing suit top if they don't want a tan line. Kids under the age of the age of 4 or so don't even need to wear a bathing suit. If you want to change into your bathing suit, just do it there on the beach - naked.

And then there's the winter spa: In Malmø (Yea, the Swedes like to be naked too) there is a sauna that is open in the winter. Of course you have to be naked in the sauna and then when you leave there you can run out into the icy cold water. And guess what you are wearing when you jump into the water? Yea - you're naked.

At first it was appalling to me - Put some clothes on people! Stop with the exhibitionism! But as I continued to be forced into situations where I had to be naked I started to accept it and become comfortable with it. I looked around the locker room (OK, I didn't look around THAT closely) and I realized that no one cares what you look like naked. No one is sizing you up or checking you out and there's nothing sexual or vulgar about it, it's just an easy way to get clean and get changed. And as I looked around some more (I mean, come on, how am I not supposed to look when these naked people are EVERYWHERE?!) I realized for the first time that when stripped down in the shower, no one looks like the swimsuit models you see in magazines. Everyone has curves or folds or flab or wrinkles that make their bodies less than perfect.

In a way, I think I would have benefited from growing up getting changed in a Danish locker room. Girls here get to see realistic body types and learn that they don't have to be embarrassed if theirs doesn't look like the girl on the cover of Cosmopolitan. Coming to this realization at the age of 25 has made me more confident with how I look and less afraid of how I stack up against others.

So while it certainly is a cultural experience, I've found that it's one that I have learned from.

Being naked in public has exposed (ha!) a whole new me.

Liberation Day

2010-05-04T19:53:00.004+02:00

There are many candles lit in windows across Denmark tonight in celebration of Liberation Day, know simply as the 4th of May to Danish people. Liberation Day celebrates the end of the German occupation of Denmark in 1945. During the occupation, black curtains were required at night so that allied bombers wouldn't be able to find their way by seeing the lights from the towns. On the day the occupation ended, people took their curtains down and spontaneously put candles in the windows. Every May 4 since, Danish people have continued to put candles in their windows to celebrate the end of the darkness.

Six suggestions for new parents from the mom of a six-month-old

2010-04-30T13:21:00.004+02:00

When I was pregnant most of the parenting advice I encountered came from people who didn't have babies any more, whether if was from family and friends or books (because who has time to write a book WHILE they are raising a newborn?). I think it's important for new parents to get some practical advice from someone still in the thick of things. And so, now that Estelle is 6-months-old, I present six tips from a novice parent. Honestly, I'm still struggling to follow some of these points myself:

1. Don't consult Dr. Google - If you look up 'Rice + Babies' on google you will get articles about rice containing arsenic and saying that babies shouldn't eat rice. If you look up 'Why does my baby spit up so much,' you will find an article about permanent damage to the esophagus that could leave babies in constant pain. If you look up 'should I give my baby water' you will find articles saying your baby could start convulsing with acute infant water poisoning. Information is a helpful thing... misinformation like the kind on forums posted by people called dumbojoeschmo35 is not helpful. In Denmark it seems to be the common rule that if your baby is breathing, eating, gaining weight, and content more than 50% of the time then he/she is OK. At first this seemed crazy to me but I am starting to believe that it is the best and least worrisome standard to follow.

2. Don't listen to people who don't have children, or whose children are over the age of 2* - I'm convinced that something magical happens to people 2 years post-babydom. Suddenly parents take out these rose-colored glasses and only remember their children as happy disciplined babies who walked at 5 months, talked at 6 months, followed a perfect schedule every day, slept through the night at 3 weeks, and never EVER threw fits. I'm sure this is the same hormone that women get right after birth so they forget the pain and have more kids.

3. Don't worry about labor and delivery, that's the easy part - In the months before giving birth I obsessed over what it would be like. I read about meditation, natural childbirth, water birth, visualizations. In reality I used all of the above measures during labor and ended up with 40 hours of pain followed by an emergency C-section and several weeks of recovery. You would think that would be the hardest thing I've ever had to endure, but I honestly have had to dwell on it since the shock wore off about 3 weeks after Estelle was born.

4. Be prepared to do the opposite of everything you thought you were going to do - My baby was going to sleep through the night at 3 months, not need a pacifier, never sleep in my bed, and never get attached to a lovey. She does the opposite of all of the above. While some ideals have been accomplished (Estelle is breastfed, has cloth diapers, and eats homemade baby food), others haven't. I have found it's also OK to modify those ideals for the sake of sanity. Estelle is breastfed but gets formula when we go out and to supplement for a few extra hours of uninterrupted sleep at night. She has cloth diapers at home but paper when we go out, and she gets canned baby food on days when I forget to get the fresh out of the freezer. Things are easier when you don't think of parenting as black and white and allow a few grey zones.

5. Do compare your child to others - I know what you're thinking, "What?! You're not supposed to compare your child to other children! That's so baaaad! Babies are all different!" Yes, this is true and you shouldn't try to measure up your child with other children. I have been very fortunate to find many other mom friends with children under a year old (what my friend Angel refers to as my "Mommy Posse") I have found that swapping stories about baby cry-fests and tummy troubles has actually been reassuring. It is nice to hear that my friend's kids can be whiny grimy brats and perfect little angels and that each has his/her "moments". Hearing about other babies' quirks makes Estelle's less-than-stellar times seem more normal. I like knowing that other moms struggle to understand their children and I like knowing that Estelle is up to par with all the others (she is actually the smartest, funniest, prettiest baby in the whole world, but I don't have to tell people what they already know).

6. If you come from a multi-cultural family, be prepared to raise a multi-cultural child - When I was pregnant, I had the idea that the American way was the right way to raise a child. My baby was NEVER going to sleep outside, would NEVER sleep in my bed with me, and would NEVER EVER eat non-mushy food before she was 9-months old. Well, Estelle sleeps outside for most of her naps, we take her into bed with us sometime between 3 and 5am every morning, and she's already eating that gross dark bread that Danish people love so much. While I've kept many American baby traditions that Danes think are rather strange (she was swaddled for three months, had an electric swing, and loves her exersaucer), I've adapted to the Danish culture as well and feel blessed to have the best of both worlds.

*This does not include your own mother. You should always listen to your mother.

A Day for Prayer . . . and carbs.

2010-04-30T13:05:00.004+02:00

Happy Great Prayer Day!

Although I'm not really 100% sure what that is. In fact, an unscientific survey of Danish people I asked showed that many don't know what it is either. What they do know is they get the day off of work, business is closed, and bread is served.

Store Bededag, or Great Prayer Day in English, started in 1686 as a high holiday. Basically, Danes were getting too many repentence and holy days off of work so the king said 'enough with all this praying, we've got to get to work' and declared the fourth Friday after Easter as Great Prayer Day.

And since no celebration is complete without food, there's special bread too. Varm Hveder, or warm wheats, are special rolls you eat on Store Bedegag's Eve. This came about because even the bakers had to close shop for the holiday so they sold extra bread the day before to hold people over (Danes, I am convinced, eat more bread per capita than anywhere else in the world).

It's a pretty Protestant idea, if you ask me - Like saying let's get all this praying out of the way in 24-hours so we can get chill out the rest of the year. That is much more convenient and productive!

A wish for whirled peas...

2010-04-22T14:49:00.001+02:00

This ecard made with Smilebox

Support independent music - and my brother!

2010-04-21T10:37:00.002+02:00

My brother, a professional trumpet player based out of New York City, will be recording a new album this summer. To help fund the album, he is using the Web site Kickstarter to allow people to support the project and pre-order CDs and digital downloads.

Read more about the project and donate here!

A Pain in the Ash

2010-04-17T20:03:00.003+02:00

A taxi courier arrived in front of my building today with a very important package. He buzzed the door, requested 245kr ($45) for the delivery, and left. The envelope he left was as good as gold these days but would hardly be worth anything on a normal week - inside is a train ticket to Paris.

A giant cloud of volcanic ash has blanketed Europe and as a result travelers all over the continent are forced to find creative ways to get home. The ticket to London we possessed wasn't for us, it was for a friend of a friend who was trying to get from Oslo to London. She found room on a ferry from Oslo to Copenhagen and then a ticket from Copenhagen to Paris on a (very loooooong) train ride and then through the Chunnel to London. But in order to get that ticket she had to have it delivered to an address in Copenhagen and so she asked her friend, who herself was on a train from Stockholm to Copenhagen and couldn't get home to receive the ticket. And so we have in turn been on the receiving end of the precious envelope for this friend.

Stories like this are pretty typical this week. With most of my friends in the expat community, travel is the norm. People are always jetting off somewhere on vacation, to visit home, or on business. Now, with air travel at a stand-still, many are stuck at random points across the globe. Copenhagen Airport has been closed since Thursday and current word says it will open tomorrow at the very earliest, and probably not even then - so no end is in sight.

Here are some of the scenarios my friends are dealing with:

- One friend's husband is on a business trip to Greenland and was supposed to return Thursday. Since a boat from Greenland would take a loooooong time (do they even offer passenger boats), he's been dog sledding and sight-seeing there while said friend is home alone with their 6-month-old daughter. No word on when he'll be able to get home.

- Another friend's husband was in Las Vegas. He managed to get to Chicago and was supposed to return today. Instead, he was told that the earliest he can get back to Denmark is next Thursday or Friday. Anyone in Chicago is welcome to help out this poor stranded Dane with a home-cooked meal!

- One friend was on vacation with her 10-month-old son in Ghent. She managed to get to Paris, and is now one of the "lucky" ones who got a seat on a 15-hour night bus back to Copenhagen. Funny how one is considered "lucky" to be on a bus for 15 hours with a 10-month-old.

- My friend Shea's husband was on a business trip to Milan when the cloud came. He realized that he wasn't going to get home by air any time soon so he quickly tried to book a train home to Copenhagen. He got a ticket to Hamburg, but he didn't get a seat. He stood from Milan to Zurich and then ate veeeeeeery slowly in the restaurant car for much of the rest of the way. He's in Germany somwhere now and rented a car in Hamburg - where he will drive home and hopefully arrive in the wee hours the morning.

There is another way out: A cab company in Copenhagen is offering flat rates to drive all over Western Europe. Want to get from Copenhagen to Madrid? It will cost you ONLY about 32000kr ($7000). Many travelers are splitting the costs just to get there.

Luckily the cloud is poses no threat to our health and monitoring of Danish air quality has shown nothing out of the ordinary. Experts say when the ash does come down it will probably be with rain (which we get plenty of around here) so it shouldn't hurt anyone.

Luckily I have nowhere to go until July. Still, I can't help but feel stranded without the familiar sound of planes flying over our apartment. But on the other hand there is nothing really anyone can do about it. And so I suppose the only thing to do is sit and wait, quite literally, for the dust to settle.

Laughing baby - with surprise ending!

2010-04-10T20:54:00.001+02:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCvctkeUAWE

Estelle's career prospects

2010-03-26T10:14:00.003+01:00

Weight: 7.03kg / 15.5lbs

Height: 64cm / 25in

My wee little baby is turning into a big girl with a big personality. Gone is the helpless newborn who resembles something out of Close Encounters of the Third Kind (she was a very beautiful little alien, though), and now has come a bubbly little girl who loves to smile, giggle, and gab.

It is such a RELIEF not to have a slimy, squirmy little infant. As parents often forget and singletons don't realize, newborns are BORING! They aren't those cute cuddly little bundles you see in films - they can't hold their heads up, they don't like to lay by themselves and they don't even LOOK at you! Don't be fooled, people - you don't get a baby until around month 3 or 4. Until then it's just a fetus.

But now my little fetus is a human and I am quite happy for that. I've come up with some hypotheses about her future employment. Here are my guesses:

1. Airplane Pilot/White Water River guide/Surfer: From birth, Estelle has enjoyed listening to white noise sound files I downloaded online. The noise is something between a plane taking off, a loud stream, and the ocean.

2. Egyptologist: Until about two weeks ago, Estelle could not sleep unless she was tightly swaddled like a mummy. I still hold her arms down for a minute or so to help her calm down and go to sleep.

3. Stenographer: One of the few times Estelle is quiet is when other people are talking. She enjoys sitting at the dinner table and taking note of all the conversation around her.

4. Stand-up comedian: The girl knows what's funny. She smiles on cue when I take her photo, loves peek-a-boo, laughs hysterically at silly sounds and of course makes everyone around her laugh too.

5. News Reporter: Estelle doesn't like to miss anything. If something is happening where she is she will NOT go to sleep. She barely naps more than 45 minutes at a time and doesn't really need it. Estelle is happy if she's where the action is and can recharge after only a brief cat nap.

6. Antarctic Explorer: My daughter's favorite toy is a penguin that shakes when you pull its tail. She also is very accustomed to the cold, given the harsh winter we've had this year. She has a very fashionable winter wardrobe so would be ready for any expedition that would take her.

7. Politician: Estelle definitely has the gift of gab and so far her gab is endless nonsense. If this doesn't change, she is headed for a bright career as a politician.

Estelle Speaks Out

2010-02-20T08:38:00.000+01:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1kF8KsVnrs

Cirque D'Estelle

2010-02-16T20:44:00.001+01:00

A full update on Estelle's Third month will come. Until then, enjoy this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V74hzpIYXiw

Five Goals for Twenty-Ten

2009-12-31T15:40:00.003+01:00

I'm setting some modest goals for next year, given that my primary goal is to keep the baby going. So here they are:

1. Run a 5K - My friend Angel had great success with the Couch to 5K program, which gets you gradually into running a 5K. I've always wanted to run but felt like crap when I tried to start and I think that program will be fun. I'll also be biking 36 km a week with language school so excercise should not be a problem.

2. Lose 9 kilos - This resolution comes from last year. Since I'll be nursing most of the year it may be a little difficult but with all the biking/running I'll hopefully be able to do it!

3. Get thesis settled - I'm trying to get a sponsor for my thesis, which I'll write in Spring 2011, so a lot of this year will be about trying to find an advisor and some partners and organizations to work with for research.

4. Learn Danish - OK, I think this might be on my list for a while because Danish is so darn hard to pronounce. I have had a major improvement from last year, and can now read most and understand a lot of what people are saying. In February I start Danish for Immigrants classes, which will greatly improve my speaking.

5. Be Baby-Free One Afternoon/Evening a month - So far we have left Estelle with a babysitter (Mom or Nanna) three times so we could go out for dinner and to a party and it has gone really well. It is nice for Kjartan and I to get out together and have some adult conversation that isn't interrupted with "Oh my god she puked AGAIN, can you hand me a burp cloth?" every 15 minutes.

Looking back at the resolutions.

2009-12-28T09:24:00.004+01:00

Last year I wrote my New Year's resolutions on here and I think it's only fair to see how I measured up and add in some new ones. So let's see how I did:

1. Weighting to Exhale (AKA Lose 9 kilos) - Getting pregnant kind of messed up this goal, but I have lost all my pregnancy weight and weigh 2 kilos less than I did last New Year so I consider that a success.
2. I like to Move It, Move It (AKA move to Denmark) - CHECK!
3. But the Cat Came Back, the very next Day - No Cat for us, but we got a baby. That counts. - CHECK!

4. I Can go the Distance - (get good grades) I did halfway well in this department. My Theory of Science grade was less-than-stellar but all the others were A's and B's. I also took the fall semester as maternity leave, so I'll have to archive this for next year.

5. Twist and Shout (AKA Perfect Swedanglish)- My Swedanglish is so good that when I went to my placement test for Danish classes the instructor remarked on how I must learn Danish properly because "you can get a job speaking Swedish and you can get a job speaking Danish but you can't get a job speaking both at the same time." I start Danish for Immigrants classes twice a week in February, so this resolution is archived for next year and changed to "Learn Danish."

6. That's Tea for Two (AKA no more sugary drinks) - I kept this up for the most part this year, aside from the occasional pregnancy craving. - CHECK!

7. And Two for Tea - (AKA find a couple hobby when we move to Copenhagen) - Estelle is our hobby for now, but we have also made it a resolution to go out as a couple at least once a month. So far we have done this twice, and we're thinking of doing things that aren't just going to dinner for future date nights. I'm going to archive this for next year too.

8. Heal the World, Make it a Better Place (AKA volunteer more) - I didn't do this one and don't have too much of an excuse for it. Since my master's thesis will involve studies on refugees, I hope to do some volunteering in that department while I write in the Spring of 2011.

9. Carry on my Wayward Son (AKA Travel)- Morning sickness forced me to cancel a trip to Poland with my friends, but Kjartan and I did manage a 5-day getaway to Italy, a biking trip to the island of Hven, and a weekend in Odense - so CHECK!. Next year we have plans for a week in Bergen, Norway and an extended trip to the US. With Kjartan having the summer off for paternity leave there will be a lot of opportunities for travel!

Overall I think I did pretty well this year, considering that 9 months of it were spent pregnant. I'll post some new resolutions later this week because now baby calls!

A New Face on Facebook

2009-12-22T20:03:00.004+01:00

My 2-month-old daughter has a facebook.

I know, I know... STRANGER DANGER! KEEP YOUR KIDS OFF THE INTERNET AS LONG AS POSSIBLE! There are countless experts out there and hundreds of articles (a few of which carry my byline) written about how social networking sites are bad for children to join and how the Internet is simply too big and open for young kids to handle. Yet despite this advice I opened an account for Estelle and set her up with an email address before she was old enough to know what a computer was.

Why did I do this? It's not so that she can order thousands of dollars worth of swaddle blankets on Amazon or so that she can find a hot date before her 3rd birthday. It's because no matter where Kjartan and I decided to live one of Estelle's families will be an ocean away and Facebook, email, and Skype can at times make that ocean seem like a puddle. Estelle may not be old enough to walk or talk yet but she already has legions of fans around the world cheering her on. For now I'll control her page, writing updates like today's "Estelle has learned to laugh and everything is SO funny!." When Estelle is old enough to use the computer (with the amount her parents use it I'm surprised she didn't exit the womb typing) she can start using it herself.

By making the Internet a natural extension to her life from birth my hope is that she will learn how to use it wisely - for networking, keeping in touch, and learning. Of course there will be parental monitoring and guidance, but I don't want to not allow her any access to it and then POOF! let her start using it on her 10th birthday. The internet will always be a part of her life, so why not get her on there now?

I grew up in Massachusetts, moved to Ithaca for school, moved to Canandaigua for work, moved to Sweden for more school, and now live in Denmark for family and even more school. This means that my network of friends and family extends to several states and countries. Facebook has provided a way to merge these connections and become close with people I never thought I would talk with again. No longer do I only talk to cousins once a year at the 4th of July picnic, now they hear from me every day! It's a cure to the loneliness and isolation that many expats have felt in the past.

Facebook is a real life example of the obnoxious song I sing to Estelle every day:

Besides, how can a child work toward the ultimate goal of world domination without networking early?

Our Year in Review

2009-12-20T10:44:00.001+01:00

It's been quite an exciting year for us. Rather than writing it all out, let's let the pictures do the talking:

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Dually Noted

2009-12-19T18:34:00.003+01:00

Estelle is now an official card-carrying member of both The United States and Denmark. Under both Danish and US law she will be able to carry both citizenships through adulthood, which will give her many advantages in life. As a Danish citizen she is also a citizen of the European Union, meaning she can work or live in any other EU country with little red tape. Her Danish citizenship entitles her to retirement and social security benefits regardless of which country she chooses to spend her working life in and she'll always have health insurance in Denmark no matter where she ends up living. With US citizenship she avoids the hassles of green card lotteries and visas if she chooses to live there and will always have the protection of the US government if she gets into any trouble abroad. When we travel she will carry both passports, using the US passport to get into America and the Danish passport to get into Denmark and will have the option of always being able to get in the shortest line at customs. Trust me, after an 8 hour flight that is definitely a huge advantage of being a dual citizen.

As for me, I can't become a Danish citizen because Danish law doesn't allow dual citizenship for those born citizens of other countries. This law is currently under debate, though, so some day I may be able to be a dual citizen too.

Baby Movies

2009-12-16T15:33:00.003+01:00

Denmark has many brilliant ideas. There's the small wire contraption that works as a cheese cutter, the hot dog with all the fixins', the five-week vacations for all, the year maternity leave and so many more.

Today I experienced one of Denmark's greatest ideas: The BabyBio. BabyBio is a weekly movie where moms can bring their babies. In most theaters each baby gets a number attached to their stroller, which they sleep in in the hallway. Every so often a theater employee comes in and holds up a number. If the number belongs to your baby it means your kid is crying and you need to go get them. Other moms bring play mats, toys, and blankets and sit their kids on the floor in front of the theater. Since Estelle doesn't like her stroller when it isn't in motion I kept her wrapped up in her sling and slept during the entire movie. They keep the lights on low and the sound down more than usual so as not to hurt the babies' ears, so it was a nice atmosphere for a long nap.

The other babies were pretty well behaved today. If you don't mind the occasional scream or cry and bring your older baby plenty of entertainment then it's a great way to get out of the house and see some of the current movies in theaters without hiring a babysitter. Today Estelle and I saw "A Christmas Carol," which I highly recommend.
Next month I'll be taking baby yoga, where babies are used as weights and apparently get very relaxed. I'll report about that then!

Josés Town

2009-12-09T11:17:00.004+01:00

I know someone who moved to Denmark and heard a lot of stories about this guy José who wrote a lot of stories and was Denmark's most famous writer. She thought it was so strange that Denmark had two really famous writers: Hans Christian Andersen and the apparent Mexican-Dane José Andersen. A ridiculous amount of time later she realized that Danes refer to Hans Chrstian as H.C., which in Danish is pronounced "José." And so for this post I shall refer to Mr. Andersen simply as José, because that's how all the Danes do it.

Last weekend we paid a visit to José's birthplace: Odense, Denmark. ODense is Denmark's third largest city and is located on the island of Fyn. It's a cute town with plenty of quaint streets and old-fashioned houses. There's a town center with pedestrian streets and plenty of shopping and we were there for José's annual Christmas market, which included people dressed in period costumes, crafts, traditional Danish Christmas food, and horse-drawn carriage rides. Much to my dismay, José's Christmas market did not include a mariachi band.

Taking Estelle overnight proved to be a little bit of a challenge, but it's one we'll have to get used to given that we travel quite a bit. For one night I brought 24 diapers, five baby outfits, four Mommy shirts, and 4 burp clothes and she managed to dirty all of it. The hotel also wasn't industrial-sized-Danish-stroller friendly and we had to carry her up and down 5 stairs to get in the door each time. Other than that, though, she was good and slept well in her carraige bassinet. We did wait too long to feed her once, though, so she ended up screaming bloody murder as we struggled to find a cafe to feed her at. Once inside, our fellow patrons stared at us wondering if we had just cut her legs off and caused her to scream in pain. Upon realizing her limbs were still attached and her stopping crying after she ate, the patrons continued to drink their lattes. The next morning Estelle was in a very good mood so I decided to place her on her belly next to Kjartan so she could goo in his ear to wake him up. Unfortunately she got a little too excited and puked into his ear. I don't think he'll ever let her live that down. "But Dad, this is soooo unfair... I want to go out past midnight!" "Well Estelle, you puked in my ear when you were 6 weeks old so now we're even."

We didn't want to leave out José, though, so we finished off our weekend with a visit to Toritos, a Mexican restaurant. There we ate traditional Danish-Mexican burritos under the watchful eye of a large way-to-white-skinned mannequin with a black mustache and poncho - It was then that I realized that José Andersen really did live in Odense. He's just hidden away on a quiet sidestreet, making sure visitors get their fill of both José and H.C. Andersens on their trip to the city.

A little short of miraculous

2009-12-09T11:02:00.004+01:00

Estelle is getting more human by the day. It was a bit disappointing that she didn't come out cooing, smiling, laughing, and smelling good like it seems the babies in the movies do but at six weeks she is definitely getting there - aside from the smelling good thing, that will take a few years.

The Miracle Blanket had a rough start due to the six-week growth spurt that had Estelle eating every hour for two days straight. But after that was done it seemed to really help. It didn't perform any miracles - i thought maybe the baby would magically drift off to sleep and sleep for 14 hours and not be hungry at all despite the fact that she is a nursing baby and has to eat every four hours... I thought she could absorb mother's milk through the miraculous blanket's magic fabric instead of getting it from me. I should ask for my money back because the box says "100% satisfaction guaranteed," but I am happy with 85% satisfaction even still. The blanket definitely helps her calm herself and stops her from startling with her hands. She kicks her feet out at night but that doesn't seem to matter since it's her arms that freak her out. How stressful it must be to be an infant - getting freaked out every time you move your arms! For the past two nights we've had only 1 and 2 wake ups per night and I think that's the best we'll get with a 6-week old. Estelle is also taking 3 hour naps during the day, and half the time she is sleeping on her own and not in the baby carrier. Baby steps... baby steps!

As for me, I've been keeping busy with my fellow international moms here with playdates (OK, for Estelle they are "stare, cry, and sleep" dates) and outings into town. Today Estelle will be staying with a friend and her baby Sebastian, who is 3 weeks her senior, while I take a placement test at the local language school. This is Estelle's second Stare Date with Sebastian and I'm hoping the two will hit it off. In February I will start Danish classes, which are provided by the government and mandatory for all non-EU citizens. My immigration status is a little tricky because I moved from another EU country so they aren't actually mandatory for me but I am going to take them anyways because I think it's really important that I learn the language. My Danish is pretty good for someone with no formal training. I can read and understand most things, but can't pronounce anything, so I have two options: take language school and learn to speak or pretend I am deaf and don't know sign language and force everyone write down what they are saying all the time. I think the language school is a better option.

The Baptism

2009-12-02T09:22:00.003+01:00

Estelle was baptized on Sunday at Bagsværd Kirke here in town. Estelle spent the entire 1.5 hour (Danish Protestants sing more than Catholics, which adds to mass time, I have discovered) ceremony in my arms asleep, threatening to cry every time I moved - thus paralyzing my left arm.

But despite this church-related injury I am happy that she was happy. She as so good that our relatives wondered what we doped her with. She did let out a small grunt when the water was poured over her head and some pretty strong "I'm hungry!" cries as soon as we got out of the church.

The ceremony was followed by a dinner at our apartment consiting of my famous mushroom bisque (OK, the recipe is from Moosewood Cookbook, but I made it from scratch), Kjartan's famous bolognese lasagna, and Nanna's famous sponge cake. All were hits.

In other news: My mom left yesterday in a flood of tears by all except Estelle, who preferred sleep as a way of showing her sadness. We couldn't have asked for a better three weeks and are already counting down the six weeks until we will be in the US.

Mom was sleeping in the guest room during her visit, so Estelle's crib was in our room since she came. Last night we put Estelle back in her own room and all went well, although she has become a baby Houdini at getting out of her swaddle. Since the swaddle is what keeps her asleep she wakes up every 3 hours with an arm flailing, wondering what the heck it is that keeps hitting her in the face (we're still working on teaching her what her limbs are). To remedy this situation we bought The Miracle Blanket, a ridiculously overpriced swaddle blanket that is supposed to keep a baby swaddled all night long and for the price we paid it might actually be the exact swaddle baby Jesus used in the manger, complete with traces of his miraculous DNA. Hopefully the miracle isn't that the parents are such suckers as to pay such a ridiculous amount of money for what is actually a long piece of cloth. It's being shipped from England and I have already written to the manufacturer and told them that my sleep depends on this Miracle Blanket, so if they could miraculously ship it a little faster I would be eternally grateful. I'll let you all know if it works its miracles once it arrives.

I've planned a lot of outings for the next three weeks before Christmas because it seems much easier and more entertaining to be out with Estelle than it is to stay home. One of the best things I did when I moved to Denmark was to join an international mothers group. I read about the group online and went to a few meetings when I was pregnant. There I learned all about the hospital system, where to get cheap baby stuff, and what to expect the first few months. We go out for coffee, to the zoo, for picnics in the park, to baby yoga, baby swim (we'll start that next month), and visits at each other's homes. Clothes that don't fit, diapers that are too small, and bottles that went unused are passed down to the new mom - and I've really loved being the new girl the last few months!

It's great to meet other mothers who are new in Denmark because our experiences are so different from other Danish moms or moms from our home countries. We have to think about how to communicate to nurses and doctors in a foreign language, how to take babies on 8+ hour flights twice a year, how to communicate with our parents far away, how to live without a car when we were raised with two, how to get used to leaving our babies outside to sleep in the winter (I'm getting there), and where to get the baby things we remember so fondly from our childhood (or, as is usually the case, how to live without them). Moreover, many of the girls in the mother's group became almost immediate friends in a country that to a newcomer is filled with strangers. I would be incredibly lonely without them, but now I have a bigger social life than when I was in college.

Next up: Estelle's first overnight to Odense, home of H.C. Andersen, this weekend! Anyone know how many diapers/outfits I should pack for a 2-day trip?

Multitasking Mamma

2009-11-27T11:29:00.004+01:00

While Estelle sleeps well in her crib at night, she does not like to sleep or lay anywhere besides on someone else during the day. To make my life easier, I have the Moby Wrap, a long piece of fabric that I make into a sling, front-facing, or back-facing baby carrier. No matter how fussy she is, she sleeps within minutes of being in there. Between that and our super-duper Euro-style stroller, Estelle is able to nap with ease. It's also pretty easy on the back, and I have friends who use it for babies who are over a year old. It's a bit less convenient that having her nap in her crib, but I'm told that she's way too young for the "cry it out" method and that babies this little need their Mommy time almost constantly - so this is the best solution until then. If you're looking to buy a baby gift for someone, The Moby Wrap is a good one!

P.S. To all those not interested in baby shop talk, I apologize that my blog has become quite boring. I don't have much else to discuss these days!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T20:16:00.002+01:00

"OK, I'm ready to eat now!"

Even though the Danes don't celebrate Thanksgiving, we did with a full spread. Estelle even took part for a little while from her swing on the floor near the table. Next on Estelle's agenda: the first doctor's appointment tomorrow, her baptism on Sunday and the sad departure of Memere on Tuesday. We're not looking forward to that! Next week we're going to get her picture taken with Julmanden, Denmark's Santa Claus, and have a play date with some of her new friends. I'll try to adjust to having Estelle by myself every day and am hoping she gets out of her daily routine of taking her naps in my arms.

The Estelle Kinch Show: Episode 3 and 4

2009-11-19T19:21:00.002+01:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1MEyNPrGAM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ixY4UtQF9Q

Estelle's first trip overseas

2009-11-19T18:02:00.001+01:00

Estelle took her first trip abroad with my mom and I today to Lund, Sweden. She did very well on the 2 hour journey, sleeping most of the day in our magical Danish stroller that silences any cranky baby when pushed. Next on estelle's travel itinerary- her first overnight an hotel stay in the Danish town of Odense for a weekend to visit the HC Andersen Christmas market December 5, a week in Aarhus for Christmas, then a trip to the US in mid-January. Soon she will be a travel pro!

-- Posted from my iPhone

America's new goodwill ambassador

2009-11-17T10:42:00.001+01:00

Just back from the US embassy - welcome America's newest citizen!

-- Posted from my iPhone

The 4-kiloer

2009-11-16T14:38:00.003+01:00

One of the gems of living in Denmark with a baby is that all new parents get a visiting nurse. This is a nurse who comes to you during the first year of the baby's life to answer questions, check on both the baby's and the parents' well-being, gives help with breastfeeding, and weighs the baby. The nurse comes more during the baby's first month and less later, but can visit any time she is needed and leaves a phone number parents can call for questions. This system takes time away from doctors, who in other places may be answering questions that a nurse is qualified to answer, and makes it easier for the parents to talk about their feelings and not have to cart their baby to the doctor's office. Estelle gets a doctor's appointment at 5 weeks and her shots at five months, but other routine visits are handled by the nurse. So far this system has worked wonderfully for us, given that as new parents we have a lot of small questions that we might not have bothered to call a doctor to ask but are still nice to know the answers to.

At this week's check-up we found that Estelle has reached 4 kilos, or 8.8 pounds, up from 7.5 pounds at birth. Here's a picture of the nurse weighing her in the "stork" fashion - using a cloth diaper to hold her. We think that her growth spurt is over, given that she is eating less frequently. She has also established somewhat of a sleeping routine, waking up every 4-5 hours at night and going to bed relatively easy. I think we're lucky in that department!

We've also started our cloth diaper system last week. Estelle is outfitted in Bummis hemp diapers and Bum Genius and Happy Heinys cloth diapers - whoever thought up the names of those diapers should win a prize for best way of making the rear-end sound cute. The diapers are great because they're one-size and grow with the baby via a snap-system. They also work just like disposables with velcro to put them on (no more old-fashioned pins), and are made of a fleece interior so the baby can't even feel it is wet because the wet stays away from the skin. We use a regular diaper pail and throw them in the wash every two days - so far it's not too gross or difficult. Also, with disposables costing about 30 cents a piece we are saving a ton of money. By my calculation we will save over $2,000 with this system, and even more if we use them with a second child. We still use paper diapers when we travel or go out for more than a few hours, though, because it's more convenient than carting dirty cloth diapers in our suitcase or backpack. It's OK to be Eco-friendly, but not if you smell like poop in public... that's where I draw the line.

Next up tomorrow: Estelle goes to the American Embassy of Denmark for her American citizenship!

The Next Hipster

2009-11-13T21:01:00.002+01:00

The blog Appellation Mountain recently featured the name Estelle. Here's what they have to say:

She’s a star. But in recent years, this once-popular pick has been eclipsed by similar choices. Can she shine brightly again?

Thanks to Toni for suggesting Estelle as Name of the Day.

Even before 90210 alum-turned-reality TV maven Tori Spelling called her darling daughter Stella, the name was on the rise. As of 2008, Stella came in at #186, up from #244 the year before.

Stella was a smash in the nineteenth century, too. If you check out the US rankings from the era, you’ll find Stella, Estella and Estelle were all Top 200 choices or better, with a few variant spellings, like Estell, also charting.

They all come from the Latin stella – star. Various versions of the name have popped up in literature for centuries, including:

Elizabethan poet Sir Philip Sidney penned Astrophel and Stella in 1581;
Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations included Estella Havisham, Pip’s crush with a heart of ice;
Tennesse Williams’ 1947 play A Streetcar Named Desire immortalized Stella as a long-suffering, down-on-her-luck Southern belle.

But while Stella and Estella seem fashion-forward, and the Latina Estrella is also winning over parents, Estelle seems left in the dark. She hasn’t appeared in the US Top 1000 since 1963.

Today, Estelle is most likely to bring to mind Emmy-winning actress Estelle Getty, the most senior of television’s Golden Girls. The quick-witted, tough-love mom to Bea Arthur’s Dorothy embraced all the little old lady stereotypes. So maybe it isn’t a surprise that Estelle brings to mind early bird specials and support hose. Except that Estelle Getty’s character was named Sophia – a Top Ten pick for newborns, and one that climbed in use even as the Golden Girls aired in the 1980s.

Two other small screen Estelles might’ve added to the name’s feel. Estelle Costanza – played by actress Estelle Harris – was George’s mother on Seinfeld. And on Friends, Joey’s barely competent agent was named Estelle Leonard.

While Estelle might seem trapped in fashion limbo, there is one bright spot for her revival: American parents’ embrace of French names. Denise and Danielle might fade; Nicole might find herself reserved for the middle spot. But in every decade, there are always a few French-inspired monikers high on the charts. Why not Estelle? The names gained as a group in the nineteenth century.

So if Claire can sound fashion-forward once more, and if celeb parents like the Jolie-Pitts choose Vivienne, perhaps Estelle is just a smidge ahead of the curve – a logical (dare I say stellar?) discovery for parents dismayed to see how popular Charlotte has become.

Estelle's First Music Video

2009-11-10T10:06:00.003+01:00

Next on her playlist, "You're So Vain," by Carly Simon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L20bgO8-Rk

We think Estelle is going through her first growth spurt, as she wants to eat every hour or two and has been especially fussy (our fingers are crossed that we don't have a colicky baby on our hands). Apparently between 2-3 weeks is when the first big growth spurt often comes and she hasn't had one yet, so that might explain her sudden need to binge.

Estelle will be making a big trip tomorrow, all the way across town to the Copenhagen airport to greet a very special visitor: Memere, who arrives from Massachusetts tomorrow! Mommy is also very happy about this, because Memere comes bearing lots of stuff she ordered on-line - and of course it's nice to for a Mommy to have her Mommy around.

Our Little Meatball

2009-11-07T20:58:00.005+01:00

When we were picking out a name for Estelle, Kjartan and I thought about all the nicknames kids could call her at school. For example, with Stephanie there's "Step-on-Me" and for Kjartan there's, well, there's just Kjartan - or there's Tarzan. We couldn't think of many crazy nicknames for Estelle - Ellie Belly? Jelly Estelly? Alls Well Estelle?

But now, less than two weeks after her birth, Kjartan's friend pointed out the obvious:

Estelle Frikadelle

That's Estelle the Meatball in Danish, with Frikadelle being a cornerstone of Danish cuisine. Since Frikadelle are pretty much Denmark's greatest contribution to world cuisine (except, of course, the hot dog), I'm OK with it.

So welcome to week three, my little meatball!

2009-11-02T16:09:00.002+01:00

Estelle's Movie Debut

2009-11-01T04:14:00.001+01:00

See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oba8pwIltks

Newspapers

2009-10-29T10:17:00.001+01:00

In my hormone-induced haze, I forgot to ask my American counterparts to get a newspaper from last Sunday (October 25) when estelle was born. Can someone dig into their recycling bin and find a copy for me? National, Ithaca, canandaigua, and western mass papers are best!

-- Posted from my iPhone

Mellow yellow

2009-10-29T09:06:00.001+01:00

The three of us are still in the hospital as Estelle recovers from a bout of juandice. Affecting nearly half of all newborns, juandice happens when the baby's tiny new liver can't break down hemoglobin properly, making another breakdown process accumulate and giving the baby a yellow glow. Some babies' jaundice goes away on it's own, but estelle's is a bit high and requires 24 hours in a specially lit incubator. As much as we hate to see her in there, she actually seems to like it since her eyes are covered and it is warm and womb-like in there.

We are ready to leave this hospital though! The system here has been the fantastic and we are very impressed with the care and attentiveness we have received. But still cross your fingers that the first round of light therapy works so we can get out of here!

-- Posted from my iPhone

The name Estelle

2009-10-27T10:38:00.001+01:00

Estelle is named after my grandmother - a warm-hearted woman who was accepting, non-judgmental, and always ready to take any challenge life threw at her. Estelle had a joie de vivre that was unmatched and had a profound impact on the way I choose to lead my life. She died in my 8th month of pregnancy, but Kjartan and I hope her legacy will continue with our little girl.

-- Posted from my iPhone

She's here!

2009-10-26T14:18:00.001+01:00

Estelle arrived at 830pm last night after a long hard labor and an emergency c-section. Mom, Far, and baby are resting up in Herlev hospital and will go home later this week. More pictures and stories to come. Welcome to the world, baby girl!

Fact-checking Oprah

2009-10-22T08:51:00.005+02:00

While I can't get Oprah on TV here, I was able to read the show's summary. She made Denmark seem like a magnificent socialist paradise - and it is to some extent - but her researcher's didn't do all that good of a job fact-checking. Here are some off-things I noticed about the show-

1. Unemployment - The woman Oprah interviewed stated that if you lose your job in Denmark you get 90% pay for four years. Well, it's not that easy. First of all, you get this pay if you have been paying INTO unemployment insurance for the time you've been working. Also you can't just sit around and get 90% of your pay for four years. You have to go to job-finding workshops, meet with a counselor, take any job you are qualified for, and apply for five jobs a week. Yes, the system can be taken advantage of, but it is difficult to just sit around and do nothing while collecting unemployment.

2. Maternity Leave - Oprah states that women in Denmark get one year maternity leave. While maternity leave is heavily state-supported and has a minimum of 9 months, it still depends on the employer how this is given out. She also forgot to point out the important fact that this is parental leave and FATHERS share this leave with the mother. It usually does amount to a year split between mother and father and fathers often take a good portion of it. Kjartan will take 3.5 months of our combined leave.

3. Paid to go to College - The woman Oprah interviews states that you get paid to go to college "$400-500". She is referring to student assistance, a grant that all students get through their master's degree. The total is actually $400-500 A MONTH.

4. The "Typical" Danish Home - Oprah remarks at how small the "typical" Danish home she visits is. It might be small, but it ain't cheap. If you look at the views from the windows, it's obvious that they live in a ritzy area with some expensive real estate. They also hammed up the minimalist Scandinavian architecture... I've never seen a house so sparse. They're right on the size of the fridge though, they're tiny!

5. Babies left outside - Yea, bizarre but true.

Here's a link to the Q&A section from after the show: http://www.oprah.com/media/20091021-tows-women-world-ats

Oprah Alert

2009-10-21T10:46:00.003+02:00

The Oprah show will be having a special on Denmark today, because it is rumored that "The Happiest People on Earth" live here. Looks like Oprah will be talking about the 1-year maternity/paternity leave, how we're paid to go to college, and "babies so safe they sleep outside."

It's true that it's a pretty sweet deal here but here's a little tip, Oprah: The secret to Danish happiness is low expectations. If you don't expect much, then it's a pleasant surprise when everything turns out OK! On that note, I have decided to follow this Danish tradition of low expections and not "expect" my baby to arrive until Christmas.

Here's the preview to the show: http://www.oprah.com/dated/oprahshow/oprahshow-20091021-happiest-people

And yes, I'm warming to the idea of leaving the baby outside.

She wants to be where the people are

2009-10-19T15:43:00.006+02:00

First off, I haven't had the baby yet... don't ask when she's coming. In fact, don't ask anything. I can't guarantee a nice response.

Now onto more pressing matters...

It's official. Copenhagen's most visited lady, The Little Mermaid, will be swimming away from Scandinavia next April. Rumor has it she got sick of the herring and mackarel-filled Danish seas and hopes to instead try stir fry and lo mein in China, where she will be on display at the World Expo until October 2010.

The Little Mermaid deserves this vacation after all the crap she's been through in Denmark. In the past she's been beheaded several times, had her right arm sawed off, was painted pink, had a bra painted on her, was blasted off her rock with dynamite, had sex toys mounted to her hands, been forced to wear a rival Swedish football jersey, and had the daily disgust of having to sit naked on a rock day and night during the harsh Scandinavian winters. The socialists don't treat their leading lady with the same respect as they treat everyone else for sure! H.C. Andersen's original mermaid probably had the right idea when she decided to kill herself at the end of the book to spare herself from the impending doom of being a tourist attraction.

So The Little Mermaid gets a much-deserved vacation to China, where she will get to hang out indoors without the threat of being blown up. As for us Copenhageners, we get a replica of the little lady which will be on display in Tivoli Gardens amusement park during that time. No photos yet of the original's replacement, but I'm going to guess it looks a little something like this:

Bump cam : week 39

2009-10-09T14:35:00.002+02:00

Is that a pumpkin under your jacket, lady?

-- Posted from my iPhone

Bump Cam: week 38

2009-10-02T09:09:00.001+02:00

I didn't bother to buy fall maternity clothes, so I better not get any bigger or this jacket won't fit! Also got a new Mom-style haircut . . . Short and manageable.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Dear Mr. President, you're inconveniencing me

2009-10-01T13:05:00.002+02:00

Dear Barack Obama,

While I like the way you practice politics, I don't like the way you travel.

Love,

Stephanie

Yes, if you've seen the news lately you probably noticed that the three O's are in town to promote Chicago's Olympic bid: Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, and Oprah. There are some other big international names here too, but they don't seem to cause as much of an interruption While the visit from the O's means some much-needed positive press for Denmark, it's been a hassle for those who actually live in Copenhagen.

The Obamas don't travel light - Michelle flew over her own motorcade, complete with 4 large SUVS, her own personal plane, and a cargo plane to carry the vehicles. Her husband will arrive tomorrow morning with an even bigger motorcade. Every street they drive on has been completely blocked off and his entire route from the conference center to the palace will be closed tomorrow, meaning that the most travelled streets in Copenhagen will be closed. A metro line has been shut down, buses have been re-routed, extra police have been called off of desk duty, and reinforcements have been called to duty from other parts of Denmark.

Perhaps the biggest interruption will be when the Oresund Bridge, connecting Denmark to Sweden and shuffling thousands of commuters each day (including Kjartan for a year), will be closed during rush hour tomorrow because it is in the flight path of Air Force One, thus making it impossible to get in or out of the country from Copenhagen.

I wouldn't mind all the fuss if the president were here to do something presidential, but it seems to me that the Olympic Games selection process is a high-stakes game in itself.

Consider the gameplay for this week's Copenhagen Match:

- Japan brought out the crown prince

- Spain upped them with the king and queen

- The US brought in the first lady

- Brazil took in the president

- The US blocked the shot with Oprah

- Brazil shot back with football superstar Pele

- The US at the last minute went for the win with the player to beat all players: Barack Obama.

Call me crazy, but I think the location of the Olympic Games should be about which city can best accommodate them or which city will showcase them best - not about who threw out the most money at the last minute to secure a win.

That being said, do you think the Obamas will sign my baby bump?

Flower power

2009-09-29T19:04:00.000+02:00

One of the best perks of our new place is that we live above a generous florist who leaves the daily "seconds" out a few times every week for the neighbors to grab. Some have been fresh flowers, others plants in need of a loving hand. They make our apartment pretty and will hopefully take away some of the smell of the diaper pail when baby arrives!

-- Posted from my iPhone

Ok, I'm not complaining now...

2009-09-25T08:32:00.001+02:00

Here's an article that definitely dwarfs my pregnancy woes...

19.2 Pound Bundle of Joy

by Mike Krumboltz

Attention moms! Can we have your attention please? To everyone who likes to brag about giving birth to 8, 9, even 10-lb. babies, we advise you keep quiet around Ani from Indonesia. The woman recently delivered a 19.2-lb. bruiser, the heaviest newborn ever recorded in the country.

Ani's epic delivery scored a lot of attention in the Search box. After the "Today" show ran a segment and Al Roker and Matt Lauer made some lighthearted jokes, lookups on "19 pound baby," "indonesian baby," and "heaviest baby ever" all spiked immediately.

And pictures? Oh my, the baby's pictures were also hugely popular. Queries for "19 pound baby photos" jumped from nil into the thousands, and photos within Yahoo! News are drawing big clicks. Not surprisingly, the baby is said to require "near constant feeding."

For those wondering if this baby boy (as of yet unnamed, but we suggest "Hulk") is the heaviest newborn in history, the answer is no. The record belongs to an American infant born in 1879. He weighed 23 pounds, 12 ounces. Sadly, he died a few hours after being born. An ABC station reports that the heaviest baby to survive weighed 22 lbs., 8 ounces. We sure hope the big guy was always extra-nice to his mother.

Bump Cam: Week 37

2009-09-22T13:41:00.003+02:00

About a week ago I was telling Kjartan how easy pregnancy was and how women just need to toughen up. It wasn't really that bad - a little tummy ache for a few months, some moderately swollen feet, a bit tired - no problem.

Somebody heard me. Now I'm cursed.

Yes, I do believe I cursed myself by saying that and am now destined to carry this baby for 88 weeks - incidentally the same amount of time that elephants carry their babies. While we're on the topic of elephants, I feel like one only without the handy trunk to pick up things that are out of reach. I can't bend down, I can't sit up, I can't lay down and every time I try to turn over I feel like I'm taking an 80-pound suitcase with me. I make a mental note of all the things I drop on the ground so that I can tell Kjartan to get them when he gets home. Whatever doesn't drop on the ground drops on my shirt, but I can barely fit in our closet-sized bathroom/laundry room nor bend down to get to the washer, so I sometimes settle with dirty clothes until Kjartan gets home . The midwife says the baby is a normal size if not on the small side but I'm pretty convinced that I am going to give birth to a baby elephant, or at least a 10-year-old.

The good news is that the discomfort didn't come until 37 weeks, right when the baby was full term. She could come tomorrow or 5 weeks from now. Oh my gosh, I can not even fathom being pregnant five weeks from now. If I am pregnant five weeks from now I take no responsibility for the things written on this blog - they will not be the thoughts of Stephanie, they will be the thoughts of Overdue Stephanie. And while I admit it's OK to feel some sympathy for Kjartan having to deal with me these days, don't give him as much as me. Remember, I'M the one carrying the baby elephant around.

Another item of good news is that I believe the baby has dropped, thus getting her into position for birth and giving my lungs a chance to breath while walking up all the stairs to my apartment (I know I mention these stairs a lot, but there are a lot of them so they deserve a lot of mentioning). However, since God could NEVER seem to give women a break this also means that the baby is doing headstands on my bladder and my nightly bathroom trips have increased from a modest 5 to a full 10 times a night.

Never say something is easy until it's finished, ladies. That's all I have to say!

The Danish Christening

2009-09-16T10:59:00.002+02:00

Baby's first party will probably be some time in November at her Christening. Christenings in Denmark are the first time when a child is officially given a name and introduced to the world.

While I'm on the subject of names, you may recall a post I wrote a few months back about naming your children in Denmark. It is not a matter of just saying "my kid's name is Zoomba" when they are born and having a nurse write it down, it is quite an official process. The name for your child must be on a long list of those approved by the Danish Ministry of Names (Zoomba isn't), and if it isn't then you will need to petition for the name you want to be added to the list - a process that could take months. Luckily for us, all the names we have considered (with the exception of the not-so-serious consideration of Barack) are on the list.

And if you just can't figure out what to name your kid - have no fear! Scandinavia has a reputation for second chances and long deadlines (or no deadlines, in the case of the rule for assignment due dates at Lund University), and naming your kid is no exception. At birth the baby will get a Danish equivalent to a social security number and then parents have six months to make it over to the local minister's office to sign up their kid's name. So basically Kjartan and I have until April to decide what to name the baby and can refer to her as No. 0910193043, or whatever her social security number is, until then.

Anyways, back to Christenings. I haven't been to a Danish christening so I thought I would instead post a video of what a typical Danish Christening is like. See here:

Ok, maybe that's not the best example of a "typical" Danish Christening, given that it's Prince Christian's Christening. But just imagine it without the 30-member boy's choir, 400 royals and dignitaries, the term "prince" being thrown around, and royal heirloom gown and you pretty much have a typical Danish Christening.

Birthing the Danish Way

2009-09-12T11:13:00.004+02:00

I should probably post this AFTER the birth, but I don't think I'll have the time or energy to do that, so I thought I would write a little about how Denmark (and Sweden, where most of my pregnancy took place) is different from America in the business of making babies.

Here are some key differences I have noticed in my experiences here:

1. No doctors - OK, there are doctors here (even though some people in the US are making it seem like there aren't any with this current health care debate), but you only see them if something's wrong with you. I'm told that the philosophy is that pregnancy isn't an illness or disease, but is instead a natural process and should be treated as one. Midwives are also cheaper than doctors, which I suppose is an added bonus. You don't sign up with an obstetrician and in Sweden you don't ever see a doctor from conception to delivery with a healthy pregnancy. In Denmark you see your family physician three times during the pregnancy. Instead, the entire system runs on the "jordemoder" in Denmark and the "Barnmorska" in Sweden - which in the US we would call midwives. I saw my Swedish midwife three times and will see my Danish midwife two or three times, depending when this baby decides to make her way out. On delivery day my baby will be delivered by a midwife whom I've probably never met (whoever is on shift that day) and if baby is born over a shift change another one will take her place. Some of my friends have been uncomfortable with not seeing an obstetrician, but it hasn't bothered me all too much. I've had an uncomplicated pregnancy, so I haven't had any problems with the system.

2. Take the pain and deal with it - Only 19 percent of women who give birth at the hospital I am giving birth at do so with an epidural, compared with 80 percent at the hospital near my hometown in the US. The overall philosophy is that women have been giving birth for ages and should be empowered to do it naturally. Mothers are instead encouraged to use laughing gas, a big warm tub in the room, and acupuncture to numb the pain. It must also be an added bonus that not having to call an anesthesiologist is cheaper than having to call one. I'm not sure what birthing rooms look like in the US, but here is what ours will look like.

3. Less Ultrasounds - In Denmark ultrasounds are offered at week 14 to check for abnormalities and week 20 to check for size. In Sweden they are offered at week 20 for size and again at week 30 to check position and size. I was in Sweden for week 14 and Denmark for week 30 so I missed both those scans and only received the week 20 one. Not getting a 14 week scan was the one thing that really bothered me about prenatal care in Sweden for pyschological reasons more than physical ones. I didn't hear the baby's heartbeat, receive a blood pregnancy test, or see her on a screen until week 20 which had me walking around wondering if everything was alright down there and even if, in fact, I was pregnant. Luckily, all was well at week 20 and my nerves quickly subsided. Still, it would have been nice to calm those fears earlier.

4. Free Hotel Stays - If all goes well with the birth and baby and I don't have any complications, Kjartan, Baby, and I will be sent on an all-expense paid vacation to a 14th floor luxury hotel for 3 days. No, seriously, I'm not making this up. On the top floor of the hospital is a "Patient Hotel" for new families and other folks recovering from surgery. There we will be given parenting classes on infant care, breastfeeding support, and three meals a day. OK, it's not The Ritz, but it's pretty nice. See a photo of the hotel here. The catch is that Kjartan pays $40 a day for his meals and has to leave after 2 nights. If the midwife or I feel baby and I need more time I can stay longer for free.

5. Don't visit me: While American visitors might wait outside the delivery room for baby to be born and some might crowd the mother's room to see a new baby moments after birth, visiting hours are restricted here in Denmark. Visitors are allowed between 4:30 and 6:00pm at the patient hotel. The idea is to give parents rest and allow them to concentrate on socializing with their new baby. If you don't like it, then leave. The hospital offers "ambulant birth" which allows mothers and babies to go home 4-6 hours after the birth (yea, opted out of that option real fast) if all is well.

6. No, No Nursery: I asked the midwife where the baby would go after I gave birth and she responded pretty matter-of-factly, "It's your baby." Babies don't go to hospital nurseries in Denmark (unless they have to have special care), and instead stay with Mom and Dad from the moment they are born. Meals aren't delivered to the room either and Mom and Dad walk to the cafeteria to eat while rolling baby in a bassinet.

7. Toughen up: My American pregnancy book tells me it's very important to get excercise while pregnant and encourages me to "walk down the driveway to get the mail" or "talk a walk around the block with a friend" or "park at the end of the parking lot" to make sure I fit in enough exercise. Well, I've been forced to accomplish that much and more. My physical lifestyle here in Denmark is drastically different from that in the US. During my 35 weeks of pregnancy, I only rode in a car for 3 weeks while I was in the US (when I had the most drastic weight gain), and as I've mentioned before I have to walk up 55 stairs at least twice a day to get to my apartment. I still bike (and prefer it to walking) and have to walk to the grocery store and train station. Still, when I told my Swedish midwife about all this great exercise she told me I really should supplement it with some swimming or yoga. I have done some swimming and find it very relaxing, although I'm not exactly doing 50 laps.

8. Hello, Nurse! We will receive optional home visits by a visiting nurse after the baby is born to make sure we have adjusted well and that the baby is thriving. The nurse's job is to make sure breastfeeding is going well, to see that our home is set up OK for babydom, and to check on kjartan and my emotional well-being. Other newborn appointments will be done at our family doctor's office (which, lucky for us, is right next door).

Overall I've been mostly satisfied with the prenatal care I've received here. I can't say the American system is better than the Swedish/Danish system or vice versa both because this is my first child and because to me the systems just seem different. I'm also not trying to debate Danish/Swedish health care over US health care, but instead trying to show that the system has worked here so far for us (and worked for us in the US too, for that matter).

The important part is that a happy healthy baby and family come out of this experience - and so far we're on the right track with that!

And now, the waiting. . .

Bump Cam : Week 35

2009-09-11T18:07:00.001+02:00

We went to our week 35 midwife appointment today and found that all is well. Our previous sideways baby has turned herself up-side-down, thus paving the way for a hopefully natural childbirth. I am starting to feel not too comfortable walking up 55 stairs to our apartment but I think the excercise has helped keep my weight down. Hooray!

-- Post From My iPhone

Crazy things happen in Denmark...

2009-09-07T10:58:00.001+02:00

Kjartan waited patiently while I dealt with deamons.

-- Post From My iPhone

The Fam comes to visit

2009-08-31T22:10:00.005+02:00

My brother Tom came to visit for four days and my mom is finishing up her week-long visit to our new pad in Denmark. It's been an eventful week, with many trips into Copenhagen to see all the sights. It is a fairly rare occasion when my brother, mother and I can spend extended time together given our busy schedules and the fact that we live in three different places, so this really was a gift.

Here are some pictures from their visit:

Tommy and I at Bagsværd Sø, the coolest place to have at the end of your street.

When Mom tells us to "look nice" for a picture she's really asking for trouble.

At Aldershvile Slot, a castle near my home.

Sailing aboard the S.S. Kinch AKA Melkorka AKA the family sailboat, which has recently relocated to Copenhagen

At Frederiksberg Have, a big park in Copenhagen

Celebrating the Little Mermaid's birthday

Mom and I on the boat before we had to don our fashionable orange life vests.

Now it's on to September and October, which should be relatively calm months for Kjartan and I. One big piece of news is that I have started a freelance job as a reporter for a newspaper in Copenhagen. The job description was basically written for me - they were seeking native English-speaking journalists, have flexible work hours, give out fun stories to cover, and let me get involved with Copenhagen society. The whole making my own money thing, something I haven't done since starting grad school, is a pretty nice bonus too.

A trip to the beach

2009-08-20T14:13:00.003+02:00

Kjartan and I decided to put all of our moving in chores behind us and take a (borrowed) car ride to a small seaside town about an hour's ride from where we live. As is often the case were the only ones on the beach crazy enough to strip down to our swimsuits and get in the water but it was totally worth it.

A cute pier where you can buy fresh sea food. Kjartan got eel, but I was a little less adventurous

The look of a man who no longer has to commute four hours a day - priceless!

Boats in the harbor.

A cute house in town

A new friend we met along the way.

Won't you be my neighbor?

2009-08-20T14:04:00.003+02:00

Here are some new pictures of our neighborhood. Bagsværd is a nice combination - it's close to Copenhagen yet right near the country!

At the end of our street is Bagsværd Sø, a really nice nature area and lake. It has great trails and will be the perfect place for a walk with the baby stroller.

It's also a nice place for scientists to ponder the meaning of life...

Here's our street.

Another shot of the street we live on. We can see the train station from our house, which makes it pretty easy to get to Copenhagen.

Living above a book store is VERY dangerous for people who read as much as us!

Obligatory bump photo

Beach bump

2009-08-13T20:01:00.001+02:00

-- Post From My iPhone

God save the ugly

2009-08-12T14:36:00.001+02:00

This is our local church, designed by the esteemed Danish architect who designed the Sydney Opera House. Apparently he used up all of his creative powers Down Under and left his fellow countrymen with this cement box.

-- Post From My iPhone

Bump Cam Week 31: The Biking Bump

2009-08-10T20:01:00.001+02:00

Went for a ride around the beautiful lake down the street in Bagsvaerd today. Learned that the longer the ride, the bigger the backache!

-- Post From My iPhone

A taste of America

2009-08-09T22:23:00.001+02:00

Even though I live in Denmark, I will always be able to spice up my life with this america-inspired seasoning:

-- Post From My iPhone

Move update

2009-08-07T18:46:00.000+02:00

Thank god for professional movers! 85 degrees fahrenheit, three floors down, four floors up, and about 200 books. They earned every kroner! So far we have the bedroom done:

Off to sample bagsvaerd's Thai food before getting back to work.

-- Post From My iPhone

And away we go

2009-08-07T05:57:00.000+02:00

All packed up and waiting for the movers-

-- Post From My iPhone

New gadgets

2009-08-03T11:50:00.000+02:00

With new homes come new phones. I can now blog from anywhere with my new iPhone. This is me right now, very happy with my new toy. Look forward to more random ramblings from the road!

-- Post From My iPhone

Ok, I changed my mind

2009-07-31T17:50:00.002+02:00

LIGHTBULB!

The new title gives reference to Denmark's greatest story-teller (H.C. Andersen), our new home, and our new addition.

Welcome to "The Emperor's New Crib"

Done. Done. And DONE!

The Working Title

2009-07-31T17:35:00.002+02:00

Since we will soon be moving to Denmark, "The Swedish Fishermen" is no longer an appropriate title for this blog. In preparation for our new life, we have changed the title. My first instinct was to be "The Danish Legomen," but Kjartan found that a bit too cliché - adding that it is akin to a Danish person going to America and naming their blog "Cowboys in the Wild Wild West."

Personally, I'm a big fan of stereotypes and clichés and would LOVE to read a blog called "Cowboys in the Wild Wild West" (or 'Danish Lady Liberty' - or 'From Danish to Donuts' - or Red, White, PLUS Blue' for that matter). Still, we have settled on something politically correct, culturally neutral, cut still cute enough to rhyme.

So . . .

Welcome readers to "Dane and me and baby makes three"

This is a working title, though, so feel free to give me suggestions.

Foreign Friends

2009-07-24T16:24:00.003+02:00

Window screens are one of those wild modern conveniences that haven't made their way over to the old world today. When I lived in Spain, my landlord told me that this was because "no hay bichos" - there aren't any bugs - in Spain, or all of Europe really. She lied.

Here in Sweden it's the same story - we don't have bugs here. Ok, sure. In Denmark they apparently don't have bugs either. Neither do they in France or Italy. How wonderful, a whole continent without bugs, where windows can be left open for uninterrupted fresh air!

So the wasps, bees, and flies in my apartment are apparently a figment of my imagination, and that Swedish honey they sell in the store was apparently made by something other than bees. Those stings I got last summer? Well, I must have inadvertently bit myself.

As for this beautiful little guy who flew into my window today - he must be a result of my pregnant mind playing tricks on me again:

It's beginning to look a lot like . . Denmark.

2009-07-21T12:18:00.001+02:00

I'm back in Scandinavia now, but sadly I made it a few days late. I can't believe I missed the International Santa Claus Congress - how irresponsible of me to let my trip to the US get in the way of it.

You may kiss the elf

TUESDAY, 21 JULY 2009 08:32 KR CULTURE

The merry couple kiss after being prounounced elf and elf (Photo: Pamela Juhl)

Hundreds of Santas and their helpers gathered yesterday to celebrate the marriage of two special elves

It was the Danish wedding of the year; not even the royals could have topped it. After all, it’s not everyone who can say that they got married in the forest with the Easter Bunny, Snow Queen and dancing Christmas Tree in attendance. Or that Santa Claus forgot the rings.

Sine Andersen, 21, and Rune Jamrath Hansen, 28, dedicate a large part of their year to their work as elves in the Danish Santa Claus Guild. So it was only fitting that their wedding kicked off the annual Santa Claus World Congress, taking place in Bakken, Copenhagen this week.

Arriving by horse-drawn carriage, Sine the Elf was dressed in a billowing red satin dress and veil decorated with traditional Danish Christmas decorations. Her bridegroom, decked out in his red elf costume, waited patiently for her on the stage in front of the 150 Santa Clauses from around the globe and 300-400 curious guests.

Andersen works as a ventriloquist when not helping out Santa, so it was only fitting that her puppet was carried down the aisle behind her, dressed in her own little bridesmaid outfit.

The wedding couple looked on nervously when the Santa Alderman forgot the rings, but a nearby wizard saved the day by setting a rose on fire – the petals burning away to reveal the rings.

The marriage is the second legal one that has taken place at the annual congress and provided a welcome addition to the event which sees the Santa Clauses exchange ideas and knowledge about how best to tell the story of Santa Claus and help children around the world.

‘There’s more focus on Santa than ever, even though times and the world have changed. There may be war and other unpleasant things happening out there, but we only talk to the kids about the good and positive and people think that’s a great thing,’ said the Santa Alderman, whose alter-ego Henrik Jacobsen works as a prison guard.

Santa Ron from Luton, England, has attended the congress for the last seven years and has been donning the red suit for 46 years. He began taking part for his kids and hasn’t stopped since. Not that his wife misses him in December, as she also joins in as Mrs Claus.

‘It’s in our wedding vows that I’m not around on Christmas eve or Christmas morning because I go out knocking on doors to make sure I’ve delivered the right presents and collect for charity,’ said Santa Ron, who added that the best part of the job was putting a smile on people’s faces. And with that he was off to greet another curious child.

Bump Cam: Week 27

2009-07-16T19:51:00.001+02:00

Growing, Growing, Growing!

American Baby

2009-07-16T02:35:00.006+02:00

My first trip to America has been filled with family, friends, and plenty of shopping. Baby now has a complete wardrobe for her first 9 months, toys to keep her entertained for hours, a bunch of books to keep her English skills up to speed and lots of other things that little babies seem to need. I have so much baby stuff that I bought plastic vacuum bags to pack - they're big plastic bags that you put a bunch of clothes in and suck out all the air - thus making all that stuff take up half the room. They're definitely one of the most useful inventions of the 21st century, if I must say so myself.

Much of baby's new goods came from my two baby showers: one in Massachusetts and one in Ithaca.

My Massachusetts shower, thrown by my mom, had baby-themed games, baby clothes for window decorations, and some really cute baby girl-themed cupcakes:

Ithaca's shower, thrown by my pal Jessica, had yummy food, a competitive Scrabble game, and more cupcakes! It was great to reconnect with my New York friends and visit the town I loved so much for five years. Ithaca was where I began my adult life, met my husband, met many of my friends, and learned how to really have fun. It will always be my "special place" and will probably be somewhere my kids get sick of me talking about!

As for Darwina - she's growing, growing, growing and kicking, kicking, kicking. I'm told I'm on the threshold of comfortable and uncomfortable stage and am hoping that uncomfortable time will wait until AFTER the big move.

Now it's almost time to go back home to Sweden. I'll have ten days of packing boxes there before we move to Copenhagen, so life will be quite stressful. As usual, I'm torn between being sad for leaving my family and happy to get home to Kjartan. Usually I would be extremely sad to leave my Mom but I managed to convince her to come to Copenhagen while my brother is visiting next month. Sneaky, aren't I?

Homeward Bound and "Stuff"

2009-06-25T13:52:00.004+02:00

When I talk about going to the US when I'm in Denmark/Sweden, I always tell people I'm "going home." When I am in the US and talk about returning to Denmark/Sweden I tell people I have to "go home." The same was true when I lived in Ithaca and Canandaigua. "Home" has always been both the place I live and the place I grew up. I'm not sure that will ever change.

So on Sunday I'm "going home" for three weeks to visit my family in Massachusetts and my friends in Ithaca and Kjartan will stay in Denmark/Sweden to work and spend time with his family and friends before baby grabs onto our world.

Baby has to some extent taken over part of our world already. In addition to the three months morning sickness and all the other pleasures of pregnancy, we have learned that Baby needs a lot of stuff. Part of this trip will involve amassing as much of the stuff we need for as little money as possible. I have grown up with the "buy used save the difference" theory and plan to continue to use that motto with my own children. Already, Darwina has about 30 items of clothing from Swedish and American (thanks mom!) thrift stores and we have bought a beautiful like-new wooden rocking chair from the Swedish equivalent of Craigslist. Speaking of Craigslist, I already have 3 appointments set up for next week to meet up with folks (in public places, have no fear) to buy tons of nice new baby clothes, baby stuff that still has the tags on it, and a "Boppy" pillow that everyone tells me is a must-have for any mom. Darwina will also have my Christening dress, baby quilt, and stuffed clown. Everything so far is in great condition and I'm pretty sure Darwina won't notice that things are "gently used."

But don't get me wrong, the main purpose of my trip is to visit with my family and friends in America.

But back to the stuff-gathering:

Most of my expat blogging friends have pre-made "to buy" lists for their trips to the US and I am no exception. Mostly I'll be stocking up on maternity and nursing clothes, cloth diapers, a sling/baby carrier, English baby and adult books, and new shoes. Aside from gravy master to make my mother's "brown spaghetti" recipe, there really aren't any American products that aren't available in Sweden/Denmark that I absolutely must have.

To accomplish this stuff-gathering expedition, one must be very skilled in the art of packing and must think ahead. My strategy is to bring next-to-nothing with me to the US except gifts that I will leave there and take two almost-empty suitcases. So for all you Americans who I will see in the next three weeks, sorry that I am wearing the same thing every time you see me. I have to sacrifice style for stuff.

There are, of course, things I must do in the US that I miss here in Sweden. Since I've been pregnant pretty much since I left the US last time, these things often revolve around food. I've started to learn to cook Thai and Chinese food because it's pretty much impossible to find anything even close to the quality that Ithaca has to offer over here, I miss Applebees, and I can't wait to eat steak and lobster without breaking the bank too much. Speaking English, having strangers ask "how are you today?", watching English television shows that aren't 10-years-old, and giving my legs a break from biking are also things I'm looking forward to.

So it's off to the USA for me. Hej då Sweden, see you in a few weeks!

Week 24 Bump Cam: Thar' she grows!

2009-06-20T23:41:00.004+02:00

Baby is growing quite fast (or at least my stomach is) and is kicking so much that sometimes I wonder whether I am actually the next Octomom and the ultrasound technician somehow missed seven other babies in there. Still, life is good and I feel great to finally start to look pregnant and not just lumpy. I also enjoy fitting in with the rest of the women around here. Our region of Skåne currently has the biggest baby boom since the 1940s, so baby bumps are the "in" thing and seem to be sported by every other 20 or 30-something woman you see.

When in Rome . . .

Cheers to us!

2009-06-20T23:17:00.007+02:00

"A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason - and indeed all the sweets of life."
- Joseph Addison

Lund Botanical Gardens - June 20, 2009

Today we celebrate ourselves.

One year ago today Kjartan and I officially started our life together in a little chapel in Amherst, MA. It's been a year filled with love, wonder, excitement, transitions, and surprises. Life together so far has been an incredible adventure.

Cheers to an amazing first year and to the many more milestones that have yet to be reached.

Midsummer Extreme

2009-06-19T14:07:00.003+02:00

Ah the Swedish Midsummer celebration! It is a time to celebrate the Land of the Midnight Sun, to rejoice in the beautiful landscape and the abundance of beautiful weather. We sing, we dance, we picnic all in the name of summer, beautiful summer:

Yes, that's a traditional midsummer dance that was done here in Lund this afternoon. It was a very happy celebration, with children running around with flowers in their hair, a big flowered cross in the middle of the square, and dancing and singing by all. If you didn't know otherwise, you would have sworn you were at a Hare Krishna expo.

But then 10 minutes later:

Oh Sweden, why must you toy with my emotions like this?

(For video see http://kinchfamily.blogspot.com)

Deep Freeze

2009-06-18T12:44:00.001+02:00

It's still cold here. Too cold to swim.

My husband doesn't think so:

I think so:

(Subscribers: For videos go to http://kinchfamily.blogspot.com)

Crisis Brewing

2009-06-15T22:06:00.002+02:00

A crisis of possible epic proportion is brewing here in Sweden and the results could be catastrophic.

The country is running out of alcohol.

First a little background information:

All of Sweden's wine, beer, and liquor sales are controlled by the government. In order to buy alcohol you must go to a place called System Bolaget, or "The System," and buy it. These stores aren't open on Sundays and have limited hours on Saturdays. Given that they're run by the government, goods are taxed at astronomical prices. Since it's the only place to buy booze and Swedes have a particular fondness for that good, it's a popular place. Kjartan and I went to a mall in Malmo once and saw a really long line near a book store with a security guard letting people in one at a time. We thought someone famous was there signing books, but as we got closer to the front we realized that "The System" was next door to the book store and people were stocking up for the weekend.

Uh Sweden - George Orwell called, he said he wants his plot to take over democracy back.

So what happens when the state-controlled warehouse that provides the state-controlled liquor to the state-controlled stores has a few state-controlled employees that don't like their end of the deal?

Chaos.

And what happens when it's only one week away from Midsummer Night, a holiday that simply can not happen without copious amounts of alcohol?

Terror.

Swedes can simply not go through the LONGEST DAY OF THE YEAR without schnapps!

Horror.

Lucky for Sweden, friendly borders and a privately owned liquor business in Denmark should help remedy this situation. While the current exchange rate means that liquor is just as expensive in Denmark as in Sweden, it's a price Swedes will have to pay for celebration. Midsummer night happens this Friday in Sweden, which is a week earlier than in Denmark, so they'll be able to slurp up what they want with plenty of time for the stores to restock for the just-as-booze-thirsty Danes to celebrate the longest day of the year.

DENMARK TO THE RESCUE!

Partying with the pirates

2009-06-10T15:19:00.003+02:00

Democrats? Republicans? Who needs them! I live in a country where 7 percent of the population votes for "The Pirate Party." You really can't top that.

Swedish Pirate Party headed for Brussels

Published: 7 Jun 09 21:58 CET
Online: http://www.thelocal.se/19928/20090607/

Sweden's pro-file sharing Pirate Party is on its way to Brussels having secured more than 7 percent of the country's votes in the European Parliament elections, according to early exit polls.

Scenes of wild jubilation broke out at the party's election headquarters when state broadcaster SVT announced a projection likely to give the party enough votes to claim two seats in the EU parliament.

"The polls beforehand had us at between eight and nice percent, but everything over four percent is a political sensation," party leader Rick Falkvinge told news agency TT.

12 percent of men and 4 percent of women plumped for the Pirate Party, according to the SVT survey.

Among voters aged under 30, some 19 percent are believed to have cast a vote for the Pirate Party.

"They are the biggest party among young people, bigger than both the Social Democrats and the Moderates," said politics professor Sören Holmberg.

Pirate Party voters said they considered the freedom to file share by far the most important issue when deciding their party allegiance.

The party was founded in January 2006 and quickly attracted members angered by controversial laws adopted in Sweden that criminalised filesharing and authorised monitoring of emails.

Its membership shot up after a Stockholm court on April 17th sentenced four Swedes to a year in jail for running one of the world's biggest filesharing sites, The Pirate Bay.

Sunday's election attracted more voters than in 2004, the last time Europe went to the polls. With 80 percent of the votes counted, projections showed a 42.5 percent turnout this time round, up 5 percentage points on the previous European Parliament election.

Aside from the Pirates, the Greens were Sweden's other big winners, scoring a sensational 11.5 percent in exit polls and becoming the country's third largest party behind the Social Democrats (25.1 percent) and Moderates (18.5).

"It's fantastic. If this is how it ends up it is better than I dared to dream of. What's fantastic is that I don't think we got protest votes, I think we got votes based on our own programme and our own issues," Green Party spokesperson Maria Wetterstrand told SVT.

There was a strong showing too from the Liberal Party, which is set to claim a projected 11.4 percent, just behind the Greens.

For the Left Party on the other hand the election proved catastrophic, with Lars Ohly's party predicted to drop to 5.7 percent, compared to 12.8 percent in 2004.

The June List too would seem to have seen better days. Rising stars last time round, with an incredible 14.6 percent, the relatively new party has come back down to earth with a bruising bump: SVT's exit poll gives the June List a 3.6 percent share of the vote, not enough to gain a parliamentary seat.

Gudrun Schyman's Feminist Initiative, buoyed by a late donation from Abba legend Benny Andersson, achieved an unexpectedly high 3.2 percent, according to SVT's polling station survey.

The survey puts the nationalist Sweden Democrat party at 2.4 percent, up from 1.1 percent in 2004.

The Centre Party (5.8) and the Christian Democrats (5.1) both appear to have performed slightly worse than in 2004 though both comfortably surpassed the 4 percent threshold necessary to qualify for a seat.

TT/AFP/The Local (news@thelocal.se)

Bump Cam: Month 5 - "Thank you for the Music"

2009-06-10T12:35:00.005+02:00

While it isn't quite a basketball yet, the baby bump has started to resemble a bump more than the lump it's been up until now. I've gained 3kg (6lbs), which is a bit under "the curve" for weight gain given my pre-pregnancy height/weight - but a trip to car and food-friendly America will probably make up the difference.

My baby book says that Baby can hear what's going on now and I am very concerned about the her over-exposure to ABBA music. You see, Darwina is into kicking. She knows she's in Sweden, and has decided it's totally OK to be a "Dancing Queen". Yea she can dance, she can jive . . .

And in order to really stay away from ABBA music when living in Sweden you must lock yourself in a sound proof vault. ABBA even FOLLOWS us when we leave Sweden. We even heard ABBA when we were eating breakfast in our hotel in a village in Italy. Last night we could hear a karaoke party from our house where the favorite was "Mamma Mia" and last month there was a performance of "Mamma Mia" on ICE down the street. I fear that too much exposure to ABBA music in the womb will lead baby to favor go-go boots, spacesuit-like outfits made of saran wrap, and bell bottom pants while going around insisting everyone calls her "Chiquitita". I also don't want her to learn to say "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme" or "Money, Money, Money" too soon in her life.

So "Thank you for the music," Sweden, but please make it STOP!

Ciao Italia!

2009-06-04T21:54:00.001+02:00

Here's a slideshow of some of our photos from Italy (subscribers go to http://kinchfamily.blogspot.com). Enjoy!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Hard-headed Swedes

2009-05-26T13:33:00.002+02:00

I was out for a very short bike ride to town today and forgot my bike helmet at home. When I got to the main town square a bunch of guys with yellow vests stopped me and told me I really should wear a helmet. I was about to tell them that I am one of about 3% of the Swedish population that actually wears a helmet on a regular basis but before I could give them an excuse they said "here, we'll give you one" and gave me a coupon for a free helmet from a store in town. Now Kjartan and I both have helmets. I guess all these taxes work for something. Hooray welfare state!

The Great Stroll

2009-05-23T15:35:00.004+02:00

In the United States status and personalities can be determined by the cars people drive.

A Red Porsche? You're a old guy who finally has enough money to buy the car you wanted when you were 25 and are hoping no one notices that you're really 30 years older?

A Honda Pilot? You have kids but you still want to be cool so you got something that really is a minivan but is disguised as an all-terrain vehicle that could climb a dirt road up a mountain backwards. You don't have time to go off-roading, but it's nice for people to think you do.

A Toyota Echo? You're young and you're making money, so you think you're ready to show off a new car. Then you realize the prices and see that all you can afford is a new Toyota Echo - and you probably would have been better off with a used Camry.

In Scandinavia, we show status by the baby strollers we push. Strollers range from the Porsche-model, which is roughly the size of an actual coupe and has about as many features - to the econo-fold up model that lasts about 3 weeks before the kid sinks through the seat and onto the pavement. People invest a lot in their baby strollers, with the middle-of-the-line models going for about $1000 new. You can get the three-inch thick wheels, the thermo-ventilation system, the suede interior, the combination bed/stroller/seat, a personalized name plate, a rain cover, and a second basement seat for baby's big sister to sit in.

I have many times mumbled four-letter words at Moms and Dads who careen down the sidewalk, taking up three walking lanes, and pushing pedestrians out of the way. It's like Moses parting the Red Sea, with moms and dads pushing their way through to the Promiseland of IKEA. Strollers are so big here that you half expect a 12-year-old to be laying inside. They're ridiculous. They're overpriced. They're obnoxious. They're impractical.

WE HAD TO GET ONE.

Yes, as soon-to-be parents we now have the power to part the seas of Denmark with our Emmaljunga. We couldn't quite afford the deluxe Porsche model, but we were able to get a used luxury sedan complete with a Thermo-ventilation system on the buggy's floor, a shock-desorption system that allows for constant bounce even when the stroller isn't in motion, a combination baby-bed/seat system to accomodate both baby and toddler, 3-inch thick wheels, rain protection, baby warming bag, and bug screens. As the woman who sold it to us said "This is the Volvo. It has it all."

And so Darwina will be riding in style with her EmmaLjunga Kombivagn. I'm sure Karin (my bike) will feel a little jealous at all the attention Emmaljunga gets, but I will love them both the same.

The infant compartment will double as a bassinet (and even has a rocking feature when not attached the the stroller) for the first few months and the seat should last her for a few years. Until then, Emmaljunga will sit covered in the garage - just like the old guy's Porsche - safe from the dings and dents of the road.

Hven will we be there?

2009-05-22T14:44:00.003+02:00

One of the great benefits of living in a country without the separation of church and state is that you get vacation days for religious holidays that you didn't even know could be celebrated. Two weeks ago Denmark had Great Prayer Day - basically there were too many days reserved for prayer so they lumped them all together to create one big prayer day where everyone gets the day off of work to go about making up all the praying that wasn't done the rest of the year. How very practical and Protestant indeed!

Yesterday we had Ascension - a holiday to celebrate the ascencion of Christ into heaven 40 days after Easter. We chose to celebrate the day by spending a day with nature on the island of Hven (Ven in Swedish). Here's a little show from our trip (e-mail subscribers go to http://kinchfamily.blogspot.com):

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Next Stop: Italia! Kjartan and I leave on our "Babymoon" next week and will visit Milan, Genova, and Florence for 5 days.

The Name Game

2009-05-20T15:50:00.007+02:00

It took a while to dawn on me that my child will be half Danish and will therefore refer to her Danish relatives by Danish names. I know it sounds silly that I would never think about that, but I didn't. Anyways, here are the words little Darwina will be using for her father's side of the family.

Dad - Far/Fatter (pronounced Faaaaaaaaaw) - the Swedes go by "Pappa" but the Danes use the more traditional word for "Father." Another nickname is "Fatter," and I'm just glad that Kjartan can be called that and not me.

Grandma - Farmor (pronounced farmo) - This literally means "Father's mother." If my mother were Danish she would be "Mormor".

Grandpa - FarFar (Pronounced FaaaawFaaaaaw) - This literally means "Father's Father." If my father were Danish he would be "MorFar"

Aunt Nanna - Faster (Pronounced like it looks) - This means "Father's sister" - Kjartan may be Fatter because his sister is Faster. Hahaha I crack myself up.

Great-grandmother - Oldemor - (Pronounced All - de - Mor) - This means "Really Old Mother." Gee, what an honorable title.

Great Aunt - Grandmoster - (Pronounced Gran maaaster) - grandmother's sister, or great-aunt.

As for my side of the family, we take on the French Canandian names. Darwina's grandmother will be "Memere" and her great-grandmothers will be "Grandmemere." Her uncle will probably go by Uncle Tom (and no, he doesn't have a cabin).

While it will take some getting used to for me to use the term "Faaaaaaaaaaaaaw" - and yes, it's really drawn out like that even when the kid isn't whining - i do find it fun that the child will have two distinct sets of names for each side of the family.

And for those of you wondering - Darwina will speak both English and Danish. I plan to speak only English to her, Kjartan will speak only Danish to her, Kjartan and I will speak a mix of Danish / English / messed-up Swedish to each other, and she will eventually have a Danish day care. According to the experts, this is the best way to make sure she learns both languages fluently and also a great way for me to improve my Danish - so that is what we shall do! It sounds confusing in theory, but is a system that is used in many households and is apparently quite easy once you get used to it.

Oh, and we do know what we will name her . . . and it's not Darwina . . . and I'm not posting it on this blog until she's born. So HA!

Think Pink!

2009-05-20T15:42:00.002+02:00

Baby Girl Kinch, who is temporarily penned "Darwina," is found to be healthy, happy and growing strong. She has a 152 bpm heart beat, four heart chambers, two feet, two arms, two hands, two legs, a couple kidneys, a bladder, a nice-looking spine and a stomach. She spent part of today jumping, kicking, blinking, rubbing her eyes and drinking water. She appears to have Dad's nose (thankfully) and Mom's ability to never keep still. She plans on arriving on October 19, 2009 and hopefully she's like both her parents and gets here on time. She weighs about 1/2 pound, and plans to put on some more pounds in the months to come (her mother hopes the pounds stick to the daughter and not Mom's thighs. Hoorah!

Life is Good

2009-05-17T20:50:00.004+02:00

I have taken a vacation from blogging for a few months simply because the sun is shining and life is good. After going through The Scandinavian Dark Ages of October through February, I have learned to value the sunshine when we have it here and get outside as much as possible. We're now in the utopia months, with the sun shining almost every day, the temperature hovering around 15C (60F), and new flowers blooming all the time. The sun stays up until around 9:30pm now, and it will keep getting later until the end of June. Who knew that weather could run my emotional life so much?

But I do owe it to my adoring fans to give an update on what Kjartan and I have been doing these past few months, so here's the past 80 days in fast-forward (Subscribers go to http://kinchfamily.blogspot.com for more):

Make a Smilebox slideshow

So yes, rainy and dark days were good for something - and Kjartan and I are expecting our first child in October. Pregnancy has so far been somewhat gentle with me, and aside from the first 3 months of constantly feeling like I had a hangover sans alcohol, I am feeling great and will have my first ultrasound at 19 weeks on Wednesday. The "baby bump" appeared last week - a both exciting and somewhat freaky experience.

And for the future:

May 30 - June 5: Kjartan and I take a "babymoon" to Milan, Florence, and Genoa, Italy.
June 28 - July 20: I visit Massachusetts and New York, USA
August 1: The move to Copenhagen (to an apartment yet to be found)
August 23-28: My brother visits Denmark
September - October: I take classes at Malmo University (Sweden)
October 18thish: Baby Kinch arrives!
December/Januaryish: The newly-formed Kinch family travels to the US
February 2010: Kjartan starts paternity leave and I return to school full-time

More details on baby Kinch, including gender (we hope!), this week!

The Great Experiment

2009-05-08T17:22:00.003+02:00

I have come to realize that I spend a lot of time on-line. The internet rules my life in so many ways - it's my source of news, social activity, shopping, TV, communication, etc. So I've come to wonder how people get by without the internet. I've had it since I was 9-years-old so I never really had a life without it. I've also come to realize that I'm a little obsessed and addicted. I have gone from student - to journalist - to student - and I need a break from the computer to figure out who I am without my hands permanently glued to the keyboard.

And so begins The Great Experiment. I am going to give up the internet for an entire week - starting this Sunday and going until next Sunday. The only exceptions to this will be that I can use Skype to call my mother (because I could do that with a real phone, but it would just be more expensive) and I can check my school email, which is only school-related business, once a day. If school requires me to use the Internet, I will use a library computer and only look at the articles I am given for class reading. I'll report my findings at the end of the week.

It should be interesting to see the withdrawl symptoms I have from this grand experiment. Kjartan will be participating too, so it will be a good couple-bonding time. So that's all for now... See you in a week, oh fair internet, I shall miss thee!

How Q-ute...

2009-05-07T14:41:00.000+02:00

Swedish couple continue fight for right to name their son Q

A Swedish couple from Åre in northern Sweden have taken their fight to name their son Q to the Supreme Administrative Court (Regeringsrätten).

The court will rule if current legislation permits the use of a single letter as a first name.

The parents insist that the boy was not named after the popular figure from the James Bond films and that the decision was instead a last minute one when "Q" was born.

They argue that he answers to the name which they have used since birth.

"He is quite simply Q with half of the inhabitants of the Åre area. There are stranger names in the valley," the couple claim in their appeal of a ruling by the administrative court of appeal (Kammarrätten).

The Supreme Administrative Court on April 21st granted the couple leave to appeal and will consider whether the 1982 names law allows the use of a single letter as a first name.

The couple write that as an alternative they could consider the use of the name "Q:u".

Alien Encounters Part 1: Initiation

2009-05-04T12:59:00.006+02:00

Sorry for the long delay in posting - I will discuss more about that later. But for now I have some breaking news to discuss. Today I received a very long letter in Danish. I didn't understand any of it because it was written in Danishlegaleze, and not the normal Danish/Swedish I'm used to. I called Kjartan and read it in my oh so wonderful Danish accent, to which he translated it into understandable Danish, and then to English legaleze, and then to English.

To make a long story short, my residency paperwork had been approved. I applied for my permit three months ago in English, but apparently the immigration service found me to be an ambitious applicant and therefore thought that four pages of Danish legal gobbledygook would be no problem for me to understand. When written in pure English, my rights are as follows:

1. I can live in Denmark and be entitled to almost all the stuff the Danes get (health care, education, etc.) for the next five years. If I'm still here in 5 years I can apply for permanent residency or citizenship.

2. I can work in Denmark and be entitled to all those socialist union benefits that anyone else over there can get.

3. I will get a little card that I have to carry with me all the time that says I'm a card-carrying legal alien, as opposed to the odd foreign alien I have been up until now. Had I known this before, I would have dolled myself up a bit more for my permit picture.

4. I have been approved as an EU resident (thanks to our year in Sweden), so I don't have to deal with all the pesky rules that non-EU residents have to follow.

We have given our landlord notice that we'll be vacating our apartment by August 15th. We haven't found a dwelling in Denmark yet, though so if any of you expats know of a 2-bedroom apartment in or around the Copenhagen area for rent let us know!

Guests, Guests and more Guests

2009-04-02T18:53:00.004+02:00

Life has been busy for us these last month or so, so hopefully we haven't lost all our readers! Two weeks ago my best friend from college came to visit all the way from Eastern Massachusetts. This was Stephen's first time overseas and we had a great time trying out Danish hot dogs (I forced him), Swedish bike riding, and all the fun touristy sights of Copenhagen. It was a great visit up until the last day, when I was blessed with the Winter Vomiting Bug (that's really what it's called. they're not big on euphemisms here).

Luckily, it passed after a few days, just in time for me to meet up with another friend from college, Alex, who had a 5-hour layover in Copenhagen. It was just enough time to see the Nyhavn harbour and grab a cozy lunch outside.

Four days later, my mom came for her second visit here in Sweden. She'll be here for three weeks, and her friend will come the third week. We plan some thrift store shopping, a few day trips, and an overnight to Stockholm. More news on that later. Hoorah!

2009-03-28T21:59:00.003+01:00

Us Lund University foreign students. . . we are a rowdy and culturally misguided bunch:

Kissing man arrested in southern Sweden
Published: 28 Mar 09 16:17 CET

The so-called kiss man that has showered unwanted attention on women in the southern Swedish town of Lund has been arrested, police confirmed on Saturday.

The man stands accused of having molested 17 women, 14 in Lund and three in Malmö.

The man's modus operandi was identical in all of the attacks, according to local newspaper Skånska Dagbladet.

He approached the women to ask for road directions, or alternatively advice on which present he should buy his 10-year-old cousin or niece. When the women replied he then proceeded to give them a hearty hug, kiss them on the cheek and moan in their ear.

The attacks occurred in March and April 2008 and then the "kiss man" went off the radar.

Lund University's security department was then able to solve the mystery when the man resumed his public displays of unwanted affection in January and February of this year.

Police were able to apprehend the man when university library staff identified him as he attempted to borrow some books.

The man was arrested and three Lund women have positively identified their attacker in a police identification parade. The man was remanded into custody on Friday.

The over-zealous Romeo has been identified as an exchange student and in his defence has offered the explanation that in his culture it is natural to kiss women on the cheek.
TT/The Local (news@thelocal.se/08 656 6518)

An Open letter to President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton: Part 2

2009-03-26T07:40:00.000+01:00

Dear Mr. President,

I have just realized that the ambassador to Sweden position is open as well. That will do, too. See my previous post. I speak better Swedish than Danish.

Sincerely,

-Stephanie-

An Open letter to President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton

2009-03-23T20:17:00.004+01:00

Dear Mr. President and Mrs. Clinton,

It has recently come to my attention that there is a vacancy at the United States Embassy in Copenhagen and I am writing to help you fill it. With the recent departure of James Cain as ambassador, there is a large gap in the embassy staff and I can think of no one better to fill it than myself. I'm young, vibrant, in touch with Danish society, can order a hot dog in Danish, know my bicycle traffic signals and almost have a master's degree.

Not that knowing about Danish culture is a requirement for the job. In an article written shortly after Cain's arrival in Denmark 3.5 years ago, Cain was said to have admitted that "his knowledge of Denmark is limited to his family's hosting of some Danish exchange students and a school performance of a Hans Christian Andersen play." But he's also noted to have been a major fundraiser to the Bush-Cheney campaign. While I didn't contribute to any political campaigns, Barack Obama is my Facebook friend, which is just as powerful as money these days.

I understand that Mr. Cain had to work his way up to the position of ambassador to Denmark. After all, he took a leave of absence from his law firm to become the COO of the NHL's Carolina Hurricanes - and Danes really love hockey. After being a chairman for financing on the Bush-Cheney campaign, he ~~vacationed~~ worked as President Bush’s Emissary to the Philippines for the Inauguration of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo in 2004. I mean, he really had to ~~pay up~~ work hard to become the ambassador to Denmark. I too have worked hard. I left my job as a journalist to get married and move to Sweden (which is closer to Denmark than Alaska is to Russia) and have been a tireless goodwill ambassador for the US since I have been here - spreading the good word about peanut butter, Jelly Belly beans, big people and big cars. I'm proud to be an American, and I'll never let the American people down.

And Unlike Mr. Cain, I know what REALLY happens at the end of The Little Mermaid and have sat through not one, but TWO Danish adult birthday parties. It is not until you have experienced this that you can say you have truly been amongst the natives.

I'm a fast learner too, and I'm sure I can pick up the nuts and bolts of the ambassadation business. Please contact me for an interview, you will not be disappointed.

Sincerely,

Stephanie

Don't worry, it was probably just ABBA...

2009-03-23T10:02:00.001+01:00

This just in from CNN:

Dog walker 'met man from another planet'

LONDON, England (CNN) -- British military investigators interviewed a woman who claimed to have met a man from another planet while she was walking her dog, newly released Ministry of Defence files have revealed.

The woman said she had been approached by a man with a "Scandinavian-type accent" dressed in a flying suit-style outfit while out walking on a sports field near Norwich, eastern England, in 1989.

She claimed to have been "completely terrified" during the 10-minute encounter. Running home, she said she had then seen a large glowing object rising vertically from behind some nearby trees.

The woman called a local military base to report the encounter the following day. A cover note on the file of the incident describes it as "one of our more unusual UFO reports."

The incident is just one of around 1,200 sightings recorded by investigators between 1987 and 1993, according to the files released by the National Archives on Sunday.

On another occasion, military officials took the unusual step of briefing ministers about an unidentified flying object photographed in the sky over Scotland alongside an RAF fighter jet.

Witnesses claimed to have seen the large diamond-shaped object hanging in the air for about 10 minutes before it ascended vertically at high speed. Fearing intense media interest, investigators also commissioned detailed drawings of the object.

The files also reveal that the Ministry of Defence abandoned plans to build a computer database of sightings out of fears of a public relations disaster should details of its existence ever be revealed.

"I personally doubt that the the MoD would lose much if we filed UFO reports in 'WPD' (the waste paper basket)," one unnamed official wrote of the project.

When in Rome. . .

2009-03-14T17:29:00.005+01:00

Long ago, a soothsayer told Julius Caeser to "beware of the Ides of March." Caesar died on that day, but there is still some uncertainty as to whether the soothsayer was referring to his death or the birth of a girl who would some day take over world - that's me.

So, to celebrate that momentous occasion, and my 24th birthday, we had an Ides of March birthday dinner party at our house last night complete with mandatory toga dress, Roman (Ok, Italian) food, roman techno-music, and gold-themed decor. To make it a little more multicultural, guests represented nine countries and sang "Happy Birthday" in nine languages. Most were a translated version of the traditional American "Happy Birthday," but the most colorful version came from the Danes - a long song that involved many instruments, barn animal noises, and audience participation. Leave it to the Danes to be different.

Here's a excerpt from that song:

To their credit, it was after quite a bit of Roman vino had been served.

Overall it was the perfect way to ring in #24 - a year that is sure to bring as much change, excitement, and happiness as the last!

Just doing their job...

2009-03-14T16:29:00.002+01:00

Free education, free health care, and all those other social benefits are a great use of taxpayer money. As for our public police force, well let's just say this gives a whole new meaning to coffee and donuts.

Swedish cops 'baked cake' in the nude

Published: 14 Mar 09 13:23 CET
Online: http://www.thelocal.se/18218/20090314/

The nine Swedish cops in western Sweden that posed naked with a weapon at a party, posed nude on several more occasions, it has emerged.

The cops are reported to have frolicked naked in a gym and also while making a "sandwich cake".

The Local reported in February that the nine male officers had posed naked at a party celebrating the end of their training to serve in special tactical units. All were aged between 30 and 40-years-old.

It has now emerged from an internal police investigation into the party antics that this was not an isolated event, according to local newspaper Göteborgs-Posten (GP).

Colleagues have reported that the nine officers have been witnessed lifting weights in the nude in a police gym also frequented by female police officers.

On another occasion the officers baked a "sandwich cake" (a savoury layered cake of sandwiches) for their instructors.

When the instructors were set to eat the cake pictures were produced showing at least one of the men placing his penis on the cake.

The investigation report states that it has not been able to verify the allegations over the antics, which occurred in the police officer's free time.

"This is as yet unverified information," Erik Nord at county police to GP.

When the details first emerged of the police officers' behaviour in the beginning of February the nine officers were consigned to desk duty.

It is now up to the police disciplinary board to determine whether the men should receive a warning over their conduct at the party.